tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15774854070273779952024-02-07T06:09:10.372-06:00maxxie n tonyivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.comBlogger60125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-1888972210371017892010-10-12T11:53:00.000-05:002010-10-12T11:53:52.444-05:00suppose it canSomething magical might happen. But Maxxie wasn't counting on it. Second thought. All was quiet. Was it too quiet? Hadn't had a good ounce of sleep in ages. It was just a bitterness that bled through him day and night.<br />
<br />
"You just have to get used to the fact she's sticking around, you know." Tony was calm about it. Maxxie didn't get it.<br />
<br />
"You really love me, don't you?" Maxxie could barely say the words. It was weird. Actually. Since it cut deep that Tony was rather a jerk about the whole Sketch thing. How could Max not know what he was doing with her? Really? Now it was like a pleasant little accident he was used to and suddenly could make the most of. Tony was all silly with Maddie. Making over her like he had his own little Tink in his room.<br />
<br />
"Well, of course, you idiot." Tony gave him a playful scowl. Naturally, he looked back as if he was certain he'd roused the little beastie who was all a merry joy in a sleepful bliss, at the moment. Tony lingered with an open kiss while he had a chance. It was like pacifying a mystifying dream.<br />
<br />
Maxxie closed his eyes gently as he felt Tony's touch slide down his abs and into his pants. Maxxie couldn't help but smile.<br />
<br />
"I don't know if we should be doing this." Maxxie thought he meant to say, but he really didn't mean this as a smile came to him. Max felt Tony's lips on his chest as he straddled him on the bed.<br />
<br />
"Well, I want to." Tony breathed him in once more as if Maxxie need a certain nourishment of some kind. His lips found parts of Maxxie that needed to be awaken, and yet he fell into a warm lull. It was coming together so sweetly as Tony stroked him a bit more with each longing kiss. Finally, Tony took in Maxxie's cock. Maxxie jerked into bliss. Tony took his breath away.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-36611470653964356402010-09-16T10:07:00.000-05:002010-09-16T10:07:48.222-05:00there comes a dayTony made a few calls. Actually, it started with one and multiplied. But three hours later he was at the hospital ready to take Maxxie home with the baby.<br />
<br />
"Its been taken care of." He told him. It was the least he could do, find Sketch a final resting place.<br />
<br />
Of course, he knew Maxxie didn't want to talk about it. He could see Maxxie looked full of guilt, but there was no Jared around. It was as if the bloke had taken a holiday from all this misery.<br />
<br />
"Dunno what to do." Maxxie winced on the ride.<br />
<br />
"Yes, you do. You'll do the right thing. You always do." Tony was so calm. It even scared himself. But the little one slept soundly in the carseat. How could she have this sort of calming effect on him? It really surprised Tony.<br />
<br />
Of course, he knew Maxxie was in a very dark place. Tony could hardly stand it. He just wanted to make all over him, but he knew he'd have to win him back. It might be a very slow process. It seemed so. The ride home. The heavy walk up all those flights of stairs. Nappies. Baby things. God, it was really happening. Was he just settling? Maybe this truly was home.<br />
<br />
Tony thought he might get all weepy. But then Maxxie turned the door knob and the lights went on.<br />
<br />
"Surprise!" A crowd cheered.<br />
<br />
All the people Tony had been leaving in limbo down at his job. Folks Maxxie knew from the shows and even Maxxie's mum squeezed into their little flat for a coming home party. They'd brought prezzies for the baby. Even a crib. Lots of food and drink. It would be a celebration. Life with a whole new meaning had arrived. Tony suspected he better behave. At least for a little while.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-49715680711209905332010-09-02T08:03:00.065-05:002010-09-16T09:54:44.108-05:00one summer never ends ...one summer never beginsThe time had arrived. It all started with a well lit corridor that felt endless to get down through. And then it was as if time stood still. Jared had to let Maxxie go.<br />
<br />
Of course, he remembered how Sketch had talked to him months ago about where the birth would happen. They'd had weekly lunches together. Usually at the park or the nearby diner. It was always something simple. He could imagine it that way, still. Meeting her for lunch after the baby was born. Something simple. Just a part-time dad. Well, he knew there would be more to it, than that. Surly, she would want to bond with the child. And then go on her big adventure to New York City. Well, it was planned. He'd have full custody of their child. Just not right away.<br />
<br />
But now it was the waiting to endure. It felt so somber and just odd to Maxxie. But Sketch seemed to be OK. Possibly having fun. All right, child birth was not fun. Really. Nothing funny about it. But to mark the occasion that life wasn't just with a push and shove, but a lingering pain of agony that might take most of the day and then the night.<br />
<br />
Why hadn't he eaten before? Well, he would have surely thrown up. And then he thought Sketch would squeeze the life out of him. So much heaving and fretting. Jesus, she was a piglet. A sweaty one at that. It clearly disgusted Maxxie. But he couldn't leave her. Her Mum had died and she never really had a Dad. It was clear to him that he was all the family she had.<br />
<br />
Yet, even now it was clear she wanted to alienate everyone. She wasn't exactly satisfied with anything.<br />
<br />
He went out to the corridor in hopes to find Jared, but he wasn't there. Just his Dad.<br />
<br />
"Dad, what are you doing here?" Maxxie grinned from ear to ear. He was the last thing he expected. Wasn't his dad off at dog show these days? "Where's Mum?" Maxxie looked at him blankly.<br />
<br />
"Don't you recall how she went off with that Frenchie from Brussels?" His Dad was quick to point out.<br />
<br />
"What?" He must be dreaming. Had to be.<br />
<br />
"You know, this family, you do as you please." He shrugged. But he gave Maxxie a hug told him he was proud of him. How he was so much more of a son than he'd ever imagined and hoped his daughter would be as much a gift to him as he was to his Dad. "I love ya, son."<br />
<br />
Maxxie bit his bottom lip. He might have been sleep walking. The whole thing might not be real. But in a few moments they were reeling him in. It was happening. Really happening this time. Not just endless contractions.<br />
<br />
Thats when the bloody mess started. It was an awful mess. But Sketch was so happy that it was over. A child was born, and it was their's. A beautiful blue-eye baby. Immediately, he got to hold the baby. The cord was clipped and he went to help clean up the child.<br />
<br />
Maxxie was a little squeamish of the process. So much blood. That's when he noticed the nurses and the doctors coming over Sketch. So many shouts. Beeps from machines. The curtains drawn.<br />
<br />
It made his heart ache, a little. But so did the beauty who was in his arms. She looked up at him all serious. Where did that come from? He wondered. From Sketch or himself? He went on to help with the baby. A series of tests she went through just to confirm she was normal. It was quiet now. Maxxie wasn't sure what was happening with Sketch. He wasn't sure he wanted to know.<br />
<br />
"Does she have a name yet?" The nurse asked.<br />
<br />
"Yes." Maxxie thought so. No going back on this one. "Zoey." He peeked around the corner then. Sketch was gone. A cold breath sprung though him. He knew this was bad. Really, bad, but Zoey was with him. It was Maxxie and Zoey now.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-68286930499013746452010-07-05T08:47:00.000-05:002010-07-05T08:47:34.462-05:00like lovers doTony stayed in the shower til it was freak'n cold. He couldn't seem to wash all of Spence off of him even if it had been weeks. Months perhaps. He felt the guilt oozing through him. How could he deal with this? Now.<br />
<br />
And it certainly didn't help any about Maxxie's situation. Was he serious? What the fuck had Sketch done to him? Honestly? Drugged him? Or was he just that hard up when Tony left like that?<br />
<br />
So much was on his mind as he slowly got around to soaping up once more. Rinsing off. The shower beating into his chest like a cold hard rain.<br />
<br />
What the hell was he to do? Maxxie. A Dad.<br />
<br />
A shiver ran through him. What would he do now? He wanted to be the center of Maxxie's world. He didn't want to share it with anyone.<br />
<br />
Damn, if he didn't have to contend with that hippie yippy bloke Jared. Seriously, how could Maxxie want to have a thing to do with that skinny bastard? It just didn't make sense. Who were these people?<br />
<br />
He squinted hard as he dried off. Just how would he deal with it? He knew he had to be happy that he had a home to come back too. Honestly. But he so wanted it to be just he and Maxxie. Not all this. Tony fretted a bit then, leaving the loo all wet and possibly nasty. After all he'd been through and had escaped such a very dark world. Wasn't Maxxie happy he was all clean and sober?<br />
<br />
Naturally, he'd neglected to tell Max about that tiny addiction of his. But he had it under control now. It was all under control. All of it. Nothing could hold him back now. Maxxie would see he was true to him. Right?<br />
<br />
He had a towel wrapped around his waist. He went to the bedroom to dress. He guessed he should actually have clothes on. All he could find were Maxxie's jockeys and jeans. Of course, the jeans were a bit short on him. But Tony didn't seem to mind. They smelled of him. Sweet. Like a field of lavender. Baby soft too. He took a sniff of Maxxie's V-necked T. It felt good to be so close. Sort of like looking from the inside out.<br />
<br />
A smile came to Tony.<br />
<br />
"Aye, Max?" Tony yelled for him then. They should go out. Maybe the zoo. Maybe something ordinary and casual. The shops perhaps. Even the park. A picnic in the park. Yeah, something honestly genuinely sweet. Like lovers do on an ordinary day.<br />
<br />
"Maxxie?" Tony called. But there was no answer. He went to see if he were in the kitchen. The front room. Anywhere. But Maxxie was no where to be found.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-13701113704921633562010-05-27T13:40:00.001-05:002010-06-19T09:38:10.212-05:00any momentWhen Sketch called to tell Maxxie she was in labor, Max just about shit himself.<br />
<br />
"What!" He was startled for starters. He looked around wondering what to do. What was he, really in all this? Just a sperm donor? He winced hard trying to catch his breath. "OK! OK! WHERE ARE YOU?"<br />
<br />
She was on in transit. Belly up, in fact, in the ambulance. "HURRY! You wanker!" Was all he got out of her. She was in so much pain. Maxxie was in instant agony.<br />
<br />
"Fuck! Fuck!" He pressed direct dial to Jared then.<br />
<br />
"I need you!" He didn't wait for hello. <br />
<br />
Tony was in the shower. <br />
<br />
"I'll meet you on the street, just outside in a bit." Maxxie told Jared it was time.<br />
<br />
"I'll pop around pronto." He knew Jared meant it too. He'd be there in a heartbeat. <br />
<br />
Maxxie slid into his jeans and pushed into a buttoned down white shirt. He almost forgot his shoes. Then he hesitated. He should leave a note. But there was nothing to write on. He heard the water stop. Bitterness came over Maxxie, thinking of Tony being mad and arrogant. He took a deep breath and ran down the stairwell to meet Jared who was waiting in his wee economy car.<br />
<br />
"I can't wait!" Jared grinned. "I missed you, babe." He reached to kiss Maxxie on the cheek, but Max didn't want friendly. He Frenched Jared to let him know he was the best. He was. This was the real deal. Not having Tony be a prick and take advantage of him, out of spite. Still Maxxie was shaking. He was to be a father any moment now. Any moment.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-31386824749455395392010-03-28T12:29:00.001-05:002010-05-27T13:28:45.714-05:00a Jared moment<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXSAZBlVIBQXmp6FeDFR4dka-UNiZnLrqde_7JblBIO0daYztG5ZFZK4ApuhnwDwJbZip1YsD9ucR4NagtYyHsycRXtXQCzlK8Z-QfIjymyJYGqxMZGUSwYhDJt2UayDWcogOcuLo7NZM/s1600/jarcoat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" nt="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXSAZBlVIBQXmp6FeDFR4dka-UNiZnLrqde_7JblBIO0daYztG5ZFZK4ApuhnwDwJbZip1YsD9ucR4NagtYyHsycRXtXQCzlK8Z-QfIjymyJYGqxMZGUSwYhDJt2UayDWcogOcuLo7NZM/s320/jarcoat.jpg" /></a></div>Jared did not want a bit part in Maxxie's life. After all, he'd spent a good portion of the last few month having him get over that foe of his. Tony was no friend in Jared's eyes.<br />
<br />
It hurt when Maxxie shut him out like that. Granted, he knew he had to give them some space. Some time, well, time was up. Jared didn't want to waste it on worrying what Maxxie was doing with Tony because, damn it, he loved him and he knew he was a good for him. Maxxie had to know that deep down. They were a couple, weren't they? Hell, he had his tooth-brush in the bathroom. His old beat up guitar was under the futon. He kept his juice boxes there. Really, it was their home. He'd just gone back to his place to wait with the members from his band, who rented dirt cheap from him now.<br />
<br />
His place was with Maxxie. They had a future. A baby on the way. Jared could hardly stand it being away from Maxxie. He needed him. And he had good reason to think Maxxie needed protection. <br />
<br />
This Tony and he could get in a row. He just wasn't sure Maxxie could take a blow. He needed his face for the show. He needed not to be Tony's enabler. It was best to let Tony sink his own ship and get on with life. The fuck would only bring Maxxie down in the end. Tony was the definition of a wanker. Did Maxxie not know this?<br />
<br />
It was easy to tell with that sly look of Tony's. His seductive smile. It aggravated Jared to no end. He had to find a way to put a stop to this. Now.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-8443039021519387652010-03-05T15:07:00.001-06:002010-03-28T12:13:03.891-05:00while you were awayObviously, Maxxie was quite an industrious little devil as of late. An it shown. The place was a home. Tony hadn't counted on that. Really, he wasn't sure what he imagined would be here for him, but he felt like getting up early and making breakfast for Maxxie. It felt like a good start.<br />
<br />
"I didn't know you could even do it." Maxxie was shocked at the mess he'd made in the skillet. True, you couldn't make out if it were a crepe or just eggs.<br />
<br />
"I might surprise you." Tony's tense blue eyes met Maxxie who sort of smiled as he sat down as if it were Tony's turn to be domesticated.<br />
<br />
"Yeah, I know." Maxxie was a bit mysterious.<br />
<br />
"And you surprised me, with, you know, perfection." He looked around. "Didn't think this shit hole could take it, you know. And you proved me wrong."<br />
<br />
Tony put down the plates of food. Maxxie started off with downing his juice. And then a laugh broke through.<br />
<br />
"What's wrong?" Tony looked at him serious.<br />
<br />
"Nothing." Maxxie tried a bit of the mess which was filled with cheese and ham. "Its great." He faked a smile.<br />
<br />
Tony doubted it, but he ate anyway because he was hungry.<br />
<br />
"So Tone, where you been?" Maxxie nursed his black coffee then.<br />
<br />
"Why? I fucked Spence." Tony said so matter of fact.<br />
<br />
Maxxie spewed his coffee everywhere. Some even went up his nose. It made Tony smile. He reached for a towel to clean him up.<br />
<br />
Maxxie got in a coughing bit, but then cleared his throat. "How so? You mean, literally, or..."<br />
<br />
"Max," Tony rolled his eyes. How could he explain it? He sat back down and took a minute to think with his coffee. "Look, there are some you fuck, because, well, they have a nice bum. And some do it out of the pure joy of just fuck'n them over. And that's what I did to Spence." Tony shrugged.<br />
<br />
"Jesus! Tony! Why did I ever let you back in my life!" Maxxie squinted hard as if Tony had ripped his heart out and stomped on it.<br />
<br />
"Maxxie, you have to get over shit like this. Its done. I did exactly what I set out to do. And I'm back, with you. Don't be such a baby."<br />
<br />
"A baby?" Maxxie looked Tony straight in the eye then, licking his dry lips. "Well, I have some news for you. There is a baby. And its coming home any day. I'm not sure I want you around. Cause you'd fucking fuck that up for me. Now wouldn't you?"<br />
<br />
"A baby?" Tony scowled. "What the fuck are you going on about?"<br />
<br />
"Sketch is having my baby." Maxxie pressed his lips hard.<br />
<br />
Tony squinted back so bitter as if Maxxie had done the unthinkable.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-66709170741396008902010-02-05T04:48:00.020-06:002010-03-05T14:44:54.500-06:00how it isWhat had Maxxie let Tony do?<br />
<br />
Maxxie blinked after it was over. He couldn't tell if his eyes were wet from crying or just the sweat. Tony's sex mingled with his. There was a slight regret. He thought of Jared, and he knew why his eyes were wet. Such regret. He hated a part of himself as he looked back at Tony sleeping soundly now. <br />
<br />
Tony was so unpredictable and he'd left Maxxie raw and sad, but not completely.<br />
<br />
The sex had been so amazing. And he hated the idea that he'd let Tony get to him so. Especially, when it had been the last thing on his mind. He felt so miserable now. He could go. Only, he didn't want to give up his home. He couldn't.<br />
<br />
There were other things to worry about. Like the baby. It was coming. Any day now, in fact. He needed a home. He knew Tony would hate him even more when he knew about it. Tears peaked around the corners of his eyes. It was so harsh, the reality of this. <br />
<br />
Yet, Tony snuggled up to him, wrapping himself around Maxxie as he couldn't possibly get away from him. Maxxie closed his eyes. They had the night. Tomorrow was another day. Maxxie got as comfortable as he could. Trying to not think of Jared and what he might think of him now. If he knew. Really knew, just how weak he truly was for Tony.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-31650370082447414982010-01-28T02:25:00.031-06:002010-01-28T02:25:00.388-06:00and then someTony felt Maxxie's face. He smiled. He loved the texture of his skin even if it weren't completely as perfect as it might seem. But he remembered it, well. He was beautiful. He stroked his abs, wondering if it were just a dream.<br />
<br />
Yes, it was real. There was the goddamn hair. How could he have let them use him this way. It still angered Tony, but when he looked in his eyes, he knew it was him. It was really Maxxie, and he couldn't get enough of him.<br />
<br />
Somehow they'd made it to the bed as Tony undressed him. He had to see all of him. Because he wanted him. Completely. He drew him into his lap. Tony's legs apart. Just to cradle him a bit. Kissing Maxxie's neck, as he ignored the hair as much as he could. He sensed Maxxie's heaves. He'd missed him too. He wanted him, just as much. Tony was certain of it as he smiled with satisfaction as he hands came around Maxxie as Tony pushed and pulled at his cock.<br />
<br />
It was so warm. Tony thought he might eat him, but instead they lunged forward as the pillow caught Maxxie's face, letting Tony's fingers find the core of him first as he felt Maxxie pulsating for him. It made Tony all the more hard as if he might burst before he even got there. But no, Tony pressed himself in slow as not to shock Maxxie completely. <br />
<br />
It was good to be home. Very satisfying to touch the beauty of Maxxie's ass. It was like art being with Maxxie. Now if he could only have Maxxie's goddamn head shaved. But he had to cum first. And he was cumming at full throttle.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-29169356721877363752010-01-23T09:21:00.000-06:002010-01-23T09:21:13.916-06:00a kiss with a fist"I don't want this!" Maxxie got away, far as he could from Tony at the table. Suddenly, there was a fear of kitchen knives and the like. Maxxie was sure Tony could find anything to abuse him with. He just had to be stronger. "I want to help you, I do. Its just, you've gone too far! Something has happened to you! And, and...LEAVE! YOU HAVE TO LEAVE, TONY!"<br />
<br />
Tony was shaking his head, no. "How could you do this to me! How could you!" Tony whimpered. He broke down crying.<br />
<br />
"I had no choice!" Maxxie squinted. "You left me! You give shit about NO ONE. But yourself, Tone!" Maxxie gritted as if he didn't know where in the hell this was going. He was certain he'd matured more than Tony ever would, even if he did tower over him.<br />
<br />
Tony shook his head, no as if he didn't believe a word Maxxie said.<br />
<br />
"I want you," Tony said. "Very much. Its just...." Tony pressed his lips tight, thinking with a squint. He started to shake.<br />
<br />
"Are you all right?" Maxxie couldn't believe it. What the fuck was going on, he thought as he watched him unravel. "Tony! Tony!" Tony flinched in the floor like a fish out water. Maxxie didn't know what to think. He went to him. It was as if Tony were having a seizure of some kind. He needed help. He was so desperate as if he might suck his tongue down his throat or his eyes might fall out. Maxxie went to him. There on the floor. Finally the seizure calmed.<br />
<br />
"I'm truly a better actor than you'll ever be." He said so sweetly then as he looked up at Maxxie. His fingers came around Maxxie's neck as he pulled him in and Frenched him ever so longingly as if he'd never forget who he really was to Maxxie. "Now let me fuck the shit out of you. Its been a long time coming." He whispered in his ear.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-69932408155464055442010-01-15T16:08:00.001-06:002010-01-23T09:05:41.850-06:00so troubledTony saw what he'd done to Maxxie. The sad look on his face said it all.<br />
<br />
"Sorry." His face tensed as he let go of Maxxie's hand. "Terribly."<br />
<br />
"You don't look well, Tone." Tony barely saw Maxxie's mouth move.<br />
<br />
"What?" Tony shook his head.<br />
<br />
"Lets have some wine shall we?" Maxxie poured glasses of red wine. "Tell me, how you been?"<br />
<br />
"Fine," Tony said so coldly. "Just fine."<br />
<br />
"Good." Maxxie made small talk. "And your sister, is she all right?"<br />
<br />
Tony sipped the wine instead.<br />
<br />
"Tony, I'm sorry." Maxxie squinted then. "I'm really sorry about everything."<br />
<br />
"I hate your hair," Tony confessed.<br />
<br />
"Yeah, well, it was for a show, you know." Maxxie nodded.<br />
<br />
"A fuck'n show. You're letting the show ruin your life, is that it?" Tony's teeth clenched.<br />
<br />
"No. That's not it. I have to pay the bills." Maxxie tried to explain.<br />
<br />
"You're fuck'n him, aren't you?" Tony gave him a dead stare.<br />
<br />
Maxxie pressed his lips tight and looked away as if he hadn't meant to cause him any pain.<br />
<br />
"Stop shitting me, you've let that twat move in, hadn't you!" Tony scowled. "You don't even fuck'n know me, do you?"<br />
<br />
Maxxie's face tense as if he might cry.<br />
<br />
"Shut it!" Tony swelled a frown. It was quiet then. So quiet. Everything so still.<br />
<br />
"I hate you." Tony thought he heard Maxxie say. It was barely a whisper. Just a slight noise in the air. "I hate you." There it was again. Like a ghost. "I hate you." So simply said. <br />
<br />
Tony gazed at Maxxie then. He grabbed his neck as if he might choke him.<br />
<br />
"Show me you love me!" Tony squinted tears. "Show me!" He unbuttoned his pants then. "I want it! A fuck'n blow job. And I want it now!"<br />
<br />
Maxxie gasped for air. Tony was making it so hard to breathe. Tony found himself smiling. He always liked being in control.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-80275559342602060342010-01-04T14:31:00.003-06:002010-01-15T15:50:11.198-06:00I'm not a robot<span style="font-size: x-small;">Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">You've been hanging with the unloved kids</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Who you never really liked and you never trusted</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">But you are so magnetic, you pick up all the pins</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Never committing to anything</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">You don't pick up the phone when it ring, ring, rings</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Don't be so pathetic, just open up and sing</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">I'm vulnerable, I'm vulnerable</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">I am not a robot</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">You're loveable, so loveable</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">But you're just troubled</span><br />
-<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMPlMbXhN3o">marina and the diamonds</a><br />
<br />
Maxxie was pretty sure dinner was over before he even got it on the table when he saw Tony standing there.<br />
<br />
"Are you all right?" Maxxie knew he had to go to him, but he felt as if some long lost pup had found its way home and now decided to be rabid.<br />
<br />
"Of course," Tony squinted hard. "Its you. What have they done to you?"<br />
<br />
Maxxie looked at Jared. He nudged him that it might be best he go. They'd gone over it before. They were not to kiss. Especially, it Tony were around.<br />
<br />
"You sure?" Jared, in all his sincerity, looked as if it would be hard to go. Maxxie just nodded. "We have a lot to discuss." He said under his breath.<br />
<br />
Jared just nodded again and got his coat and left.<br />
<br />
"What the fuck have they done to you?" Tony said once again after Jared left. It looked as if it pained him not to see his old Maxxie.<br />
<br />
"Its just a show, it'll grow out." He promised about the curls as he edged Tony to the couch. "Sit. Please."<br />
<br />
But he could see Tony was a bit shattered and out of sorts with all the changes.<br />
<br />
"Do you like it?" Maxxie asked about the flat.<br />
<br />
"Dunno, not what I was expecting." Tony shook his head. Even when he was seated Maxxie wasn't quite sure he was steady.<br />
<br />
"Some people from the theater helped me out with the flat." Maxxie explained.<br />
<br />
"Really?" Tony squinted and Maxxie wasn't sure if Tony was mad or just sad. "That bloke who was here, did he help you?"<br />
<br />
"That's, that's Jared." Maxxie felt himself stumbling over his words. "He's really good with a hammer."<br />
<br />
Tony looked soured to everything.<br />
<br />
"Are you hungry?" Maxxie asked. All he got was a shrug from Tony.<br />
<br />
"Come on, eat something. Its just a stew, but you look like a good meal would do you." Maxxie got up to fill up the bows with the beefy stew he'd made. "Most times its just vegetables, but I thought it might be a treat."<br />
<br />
Tony said nothing but found the chair where Jared usually took his meals. It felt awkward now with Tony sitting there, but Maxxie served him as if he'd always done it this way, except he hadn't. Usually, it was pizza in bed or a stead of diet of smoking cigarettes for the most part.<br />
<br />
"How you been?" Maxxie wanted to know once he'd poured a sweet red wine and sat down to eat with him.<br />
<br />
Tony shrugged as he dipped a piece of sour dough bread in the stew and ate it slowly.<br />
<br />
"I missed you." Maxxie said.<br />
<br />
Tony grabbed the top of Maxxie's hand then and squeezed it so hard.<br />
<br />
"How much?" He glared at Maxxie.<br />
<br />
"Tony? Please!" Maxxie squinted. The pain was so intense and excruciating. Maxxie clenched his teeth. What the hell had happened to Tony?ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-2249224444112686992009-12-27T10:34:00.000-06:002009-12-27T10:34:11.366-06:00always on my mind<em>Maybe I didn't love you quite as good as I should have,</em><br />
<em>Maybe I didn't hold you quite as often as I could have,</em><br />
<em>Little things I should have said and done,</em><br />
<em>I just never took the time.</em><br />
<em>You were always on my mind,</em><br />
<em>You were always on my mind.</em><br />
<em>Maybe I didn't hold you all those lonely, lonely times,</em><br />
<em>And I guess I never told you, </em><br />
<em>I'm so happy that you're mine,</em><br />
<em>If I made you feel second best,</em><br />
<em>I'm sorry, I was blind.</em><br />
<em>You were always on my mind,</em><br />
<em>You were always on my mind,</em><br />
<em>Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died,</em><br />
<em>Give me, give me one more chance to keep you satisfied,</em><br />
<em>If I made you feel second best,</em><br />
<em>I'm sorry, I was blind.</em><br />
<em>You were always on my mind,</em><br />
<em>You were always on my mind.</em><br />
<em>-pet shop boys</em><br />
<br />
Tony knew he was getting closer. Funny, how he'd lost his way home. It was quite ridiculous. Perhaps he wasn't as sane as he thought he was. Maybe he never was. But he was coming home. Although, it felt quite strange, and he couldn't quite remember why he'd left to begin with.<br />
<br />
His sister's damn fault. No less. It was all so sad. He couldn't even find a cigarette to keep him balanced. Really, he wasn't in the best of shape even if he looked it. What would Maxxie think when he saw him?<br />
<br />
He drifted on. He felt himself peering in the doorway to the place they called home. Only, it was quite different from the shambles he'd left it. But wasn't it him who'd found themselves a place to squat? He was the one looking out for the both of them..now wasn't he?<br />
<br />
But what if Maxxie wasn't here? What if he moved on? Found a show? Gone abroad, somehow. No, Tony was sure he would have felt it. He would have. They had that sort of connection. He believed. Some of the time. When he felt like it. Like, right now. It couldn't just go up like smoke fading fast into the atmosphere or being a part of this smoggy haven.<br />
<br />
Had he found his way home? Really? He'd never know until he turned that knob and opened that door. Except it was locked. No one would let him in. <br />
<br />
"What the fuck!" He kicked at the door then. Banging hadn't done much good with his fist. And when the door budged, he was met with some unknown face instead.<br />
<br />
"You're not Maxxie." He squinted hard.<br />
<br />
"Tony?" The mystery man said instead.<br />
<br />
"Yeah, that's right? How did you know?" Tony looked around at the place that was quite new and so fetching.<br />
<br />
"Tony?" Someone familiar said who was setting an extra plate at the table. Was that who he thought it was? Maxxie.<br />
<br />
"Who in the fuck are you?" Tony thought he might collapse. What had they done to his Maxxie? Changed is hair? Made him up to be something he wasn't. Really, a foolish cause, indeed. Tony was swallowed in so much sadness. How in the world would he find what he'd missed so?ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-50339037202938941822009-12-20T13:58:00.003-06:002009-12-27T10:12:33.612-06:00like a punch in the faceMaxxie had this feeling of woe. He was sure he was going to regret this soon. But Tony was out there. He just knew it. Even if he'd called a million times, and Tony never took a damn message. It made him angry and sullen. <br />
<br />
"You don't have to feel that way," Jared was there every step. He wasn't flaking out on him like Tony. Actually, he was pretty much enjoying life with him. It was a beautiful thing. Jared made him smile. He wanted to go places with him. Hold hands. Be a real boyfriend.<br />
<br />
Not this dumb ass shit where one day everything was spectacular and the next you meant nothing to him. Maxxie despised that. <br />
<br />
Why did he have to feel so guilty? Why was Tony such an arse? Why hadn't he been there for him? What the fuck was going on?<br />
<br />
But there was Jared on the park bench with him, huddled in the cold, wrapped up tight, making out, lip lock, snogging fast, slowly, splendidly, just lovely in the winter time.<br />
<br />
"I love you," he'd breathe in Maxxie's ear. How could one resist something so quaint and extraordinary? Jared was love. He didn't know what the fuck Tony was?<br />
<br />
Someone to fuck you over when he felt like it and then laugh behind your back, wishing you nothing of pain and misery. That was his Tony. Unappreciative. Feral. Crazy shit. Letting his cock decide for him. <br />
<br />
But he was under Maxxie's skin. Every thought always went back to him.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-84042565676252246822009-12-11T13:49:00.000-06:002009-12-11T13:49:15.377-06:00the doldrumsIt was beginning to feel like Christmas. Well, Tony noticed all the Christmas lights now. He kind of found himself rewinding back. His sis was still in the hospital. No change. Might as well have been a vegetable. <br />
<br />
He wondered if she'd been there for him when he was under. Maybe she was. Maybe she wasn't. Really, it didn't feel like a great concern to him. He was just laying low. Licking his wounds, perhaps, at home in his old room. What there was of it. His parents weren't together anymore. Didn't bother him that much. He knew his mum was a bit of a basket case, but when wasn't she?<br />
<br />
Jamie was in rehab. He was just a little sick in the head. Maybe. Honestly, Tony didn't give a shit anymore, because most likely, Jamie wouldn't have given a shit, anyhow. So all was well, wasn't it? Except for one thing. Friends.<br />
<br />
Sid went back to New York City. He was determained to make it work with Cassie. All Effy's friends were real shits. Especially, that Cook. Tony hated him the most. This Freddie, who may or may not be significant in his sis' life, was more of a stoner than anything. Just thought his sis could do better, but he didn't comment about it. No, he slept a lot. Smoked a lot and thought about calling Maxxie. He would eventually, it just didn't feel right, somehow. <br />
<br />
Cause he had a lot shit to explain. That would just about kill him. Of course, it was killing him slowly that he hadn't picked up the damn phone and made the call. For all he knew, it might be a wrong number now. Then what?<br />
<br />
Best he could do was put a big scowl about it. Sulk. And whack off. Three of the most important things of the day.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-13396923824803327582009-11-26T08:26:00.023-06:002009-11-26T08:26:00.199-06:00an old feelingMaxxie awoke in the middle of the night. He thought his flesh was burning where Tony had stabbed him with the lit cigarette in his thigh some time ago. Maxxie turned on the lamp and threw back the covers just to see if it were still a wound. Just his imagination, he guessed.<br />
<br />
"What's the matter?" Jared rose up on his elbows and stared at Maxxie.<br />
<br />
"Its nothing." He shivered. He squinted then thinking of Tony. What would he do if he came home now? It scared Maxxie. <br />
<br />
"You know, maybe you should-" No, he couldn't ask Jared to leave. He was good as moved in.<br />
<br />
"What is it?" Jared wanted to know.<br />
<br />
"I-I might be expecting company the next few days - and -" Maxxie was troubled with this feeling that Tony would be back soon.<br />
<br />
"Its all right." Jared looked at him. "I have my own place, you know."<br />
<br />
Maxxie nodded.<br />
<br />
"You sure?" Maxxie felt sad about this. He didn't know what to do. Really, he and Tony were finished. It felt so. It had been so long since he'd heard from him. It had to be over. But he needed to hear him out too. And he couldn't do that with Jared around.<br />
<br />
"May I ask, who?" Jared looked at him so serious.<br />
<br />
"Just an old friend. We need to sort things out. Catch up, sort of, but not really. Nothings going to be going on. Its just, he thinks of this flat as his own." Maxxie told him.<br />
<br />
"But you're the one who did all the work. We did." Jared looked at him blankly.<br />
<br />
"I know." Maxxie looked so sad. Jared kissed him.<br />
<br />
"Are you sure I can't stay?" He put his arm around Maxxie. "I don't want you to be alone."<br />
<br />
When Maxie felt Jared lips on his neck and his shoulder, he closed his eyes. He wasn't sure he wanted to be alone with Tony, either.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-49278314566499821702009-11-18T15:04:00.003-06:002009-11-18T15:22:52.324-06:00looking out a dirty old windowIt was all coming back to Tony. Sort of. It was a dream perhaps. A dream about Maxxie. It made him smile when he thought about Maxxie somewhere basking in sunshine and that happy face of his. Such bliss. Perhaps the time of his life. Things were good for him. He was the star of the show. Singing and dancing. Lots of dancing. Amazing dancing. Just the dancing. His movements drifted Tony more as if he could not wake up from this dream. This electric dream.<br /><br />And then it hit him. Right between the eyes. Because Spencer poured a bucket of cold water right in the face. His eyes shot open. Gulping back, just in his undies. Pale as a junkie would be.<br /><br />"What are you doing, you piece of shit?" Spencer demanded.<br /><br />Oh, that really wound Tony. He glared at Spencer. This was it. This was enough. He wouldn't have it. It was either now or never with Spencer. Now or never!<br /><br />"That lil' yank of yours couldn't keep up, Tone!" Spencer's eyes bulged.<br /><br />Tony winced, bitterly, grabbed Spencer by the face and shoved him away, kicked him right in balls too. And then Tony smirked. It was a good feeling to have. Knowing how Spencer had done his damnedest to break him down.<br /><br />Tony got up from the wet bed and grabbed Spencer by the throat and shoved him to the wall.<br /><br />Spencer was weak. He gagged so and Tony didn't care. No, this was for his sister. This was what he'd come to do. Choke the life out of him. He smashed Spencer in the face with his fist. Again and again and again. Like a clock ticking, ready for the alarm. Until there wasn't much to Spencer to fight back. And then he wiped him out clean. Cash. Drug. Whatever. Of course, it had taken him weeks to get here. He guessed. Tony had had his fun. It was time to head home.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-3423638889189831992009-10-29T11:21:00.003-05:002009-10-29T11:21:00.640-05:00lowering the boomReally, it felt like a beautiful thing with Jared.<br /><br />Maxxie wanted to gush about it, but he couldn't. No one could probably stand him saying things like. "I fuck him. He fucks me. Morning. Noon. Night." Everyday was a new day coming. And now they had FAME to break in the next few weeks for the holidays. Yes! Maxxie was in a musical with Jared. All was so lovely. Like an answered prayer of some kind. And then Sketch called.<br /><br />"I put this off as long as I could," Sketch started, telling Maxxie he needed to sit down to hear this.<br /><br />"What is it?" Maxxie tensed.<br /><br />"I thought this was what I wanted, but I'm not so sure anymore." Sketch sounds so sad as if she were at the end of something.<br /><br />"What did you want?" Maxxie didn't get it. Perhaps he was just the oblivious sort, but he'd been busy with the musical, and life with Jared.<br /><br />"Your baby."<br /><br />"What?"<br /><br />"Please, don't be mad at me. Will you?"<br /><br />"I dunno, what to say." It was a shock. Inevitable he supposed. "How far along are you?"<br /><br />"6 months."<br /><br />"6 months?" Shit, how long had Tony been gone? Maxxie felt faint. He wasn't sure how to take it. A kid was the last thing he expected.<br /><br />"It was just an accident. Really, it was, you know. I'm sorry." She was crying.<br /><br />"Its all right." He winced. He guessed it would have to be. "What do you want me to do?"<br /><br />"I dunno if I can do this. I'm not ready to be a mother."<br /><br />"Do you think I'm anymore ready?" This was ridiculous. "Something, you say, you always wanted, and you don't know if you're ready? Christ sake, woman, what gives?"<br /><br />"Can you keep it?"<br /><br />"Dunno." Maxxie squinted hard. "Keep it? You don't want it?"<br /><br />"I got this really great promotion with the company, but I need to move state side. New York City. I can go right after the kid is born." She told him.<br /><br />"Now its just a kid, is it. My kid? You are unloading quite a load a shit on me, and you don't even want to share, now do you?"<br /><br />"I'll send you cash, honestly I would." She explained. "I would help you raise her."<br /><br />"A daughter?"<br /><br />"Yes."<br /><br />This was something he had to see for himself. He thought he might go on a bender of some kind. Life was going on, and he had to hang on to what mattered.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-90545083690026454512009-10-25T01:01:00.005-05:002009-10-25T01:01:00.099-05:00an inquisitionSpencer: (sitting like a pompous ass on the bed, waiting for conscious answers) Tone, you know this is a business, don't you? (Looks Tony over as well as Jamie. Both look functional, a little edgy, but not quite dressed, just in jeans, barefooted. Tony seems to be scratching at a tiny scab on his cheek. Both look as if they need sleep, yet hold an ominous skeleton look about them in the shadow of their eyes.)<br /><br />Tony: Yeah. (Tony shrugs. Won't look Spencer in the eye. Scratches his scab ever so slightly) So? (He winces like its not a problem of his.)<br /><br />Spencer: Boys, need to take in consideration of their clients. Now don't you? You've become disgusting pigs. And I don't even know where you picked up this prick(looks at Jamie). But clean yourselves up. Aye? (he doesn't look to pleased with either of them.)<br /><br />Tony: Jamie's a Yank. (Tony looks serious as if Jamie might be a special).<br /><br />Spencer: Yum (he smirks as if that isn't enough). What's he do? Sings all the words to the Star Spangle Banner when he cums? Who gives a fuck!<br /><br />Jamie: (sounding so nervous and a bit jumpy) Actually, I'm...uh...Canadian, Vancouver.<br /><br />Spencer: Don't nauseate me, please? (Spencer flinches).<br /><br />(Tony looks at Jamie. Shrugging, as if he didn't know Jamie was Canadian. Tony holds in a giggle. Jamie too as if this is all fucking hilarious, and yet they stand there in the old motel room as if they have their hands tied.)<br /><br />Spencer: Look, I'm not running a zombie clinic. OK? (his eyes lit as if he'd just soon as kill one of them so the other could watch him die in hopes something might change for the better). Get your fucking game on! We're here to make some cash! DO YOU HEAR ME? GAME ON. Start fucking with a lot less shit in your system. If you know whats good for you. You do it my way or you may have a lot to regret.<br /><br />(Tony nods as if its a warning he should take seriously, but he looks at Jamie from the corner of his eye. He knows he'll just have to be more clever.)ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-20343455911900985372009-10-17T01:31:00.003-05:002009-10-17T01:31:00.556-05:00monsters<em>over imbibed<br />under the mister<br />barely alive we<br />cover the blisters in flannel<br />though the words we speak<br />are banal<br />not one of them's a lie<br />not one of them's a lie<br />you're what happens when<br />two substances collide<br />and by all accounts<br />you really should've died<br />-<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QV-IDVdDx78">andrew bird</a></em><br /><br /><br />Hanging out with Jamie was a good laugh. Really. He was quite innocent in the beginning. Obviously, he made Tony think of the one person he was away from. Yet, he gave him no sad feelings at all. And possibly, Jamie could do the things that Maxxie would not do. There was just so much Maxxie would do to his body. Sure, they got high together and occasionally Maxxie might take a pill or two, but really, nothing serious. Definitely, not hard core. After all, wasn't Maxxie just a looker. Window dressing. Selfish prick. Tony had decided after all this time. Really, Maxxie's concern in life was taking fuck'n care of himself. He definitely wasn't going to take as much speed as Tony knew he could handle.<br /><br />Oh, and the things he could do with Jamie when they both took a little speed. It felt so excellent. Punks without a care in the world. Smashing into each other. Fierce fucking. Not anything else like it. It should always be that good. That is if he could remember it.<br /><br />Coming down was just as good. Hard ons were bad. What had been some amazing kicking, ass-fucking was now just something to help you dream about before the itching set in, but maybe thats when he needed Jamie the most. Feeling like ice, touching ice, freezing in pain, feeling his body faultering step by step with each pulse. He found himself grinding into Jamie until he could do it no more. Then waking up to find that he was still there, wondering how they'd score to go on again.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-26958044377320715302009-10-10T09:53:00.003-05:002009-10-10T10:30:32.312-05:00Feeling the needMaxxie knew it had all boiled down to luck, lately. Luck with so many things.<br /><br />1. striking up a friendship with Jared who was a talent on his own with building things. It was like he had his own beat to a certain drummer when it came to success. He was fantastically swell. And honestly, Maxxie hadn't had quite a friend like him in a long while.<br /><br />2. Maxxie had a home. Finally. It was quite brilliant what had happened. Sweet living conditions for the group, he knew in the building that he and Tony had squatted in. It was a coop of sorts. Really, it was amazing how much had been accomplished in a short while, and yet Tony was still away. It didn't help much that his mother kept hanging up on him. But really, things were good even if Tony was not here.<br /><br />"Things could be even much better," Jared said, and there was this smile he had that Maxxie obviously knew could be true to him. He'd come out with Jared a few times to watch his shows. It was very mature and nothing quite as chaotic as going out with Tony to the underground and expecting the worst, usually. And yet he missed that with Tony.<br /><br />"Right." Maxxie just nodded wishing Jared hadn't showed up at his place, and yet he was glad too because he hated being so alone. One could only masturbate so long wishing someone was there when they weren't. And he'd decided it best to keep is distance from Sketch who was a controlling little freak even when didn't know it.<br /><br />"You're really uber fit, you know, but that's not it." Jared shrugged. "I like your company, and I think you like mine, as well. Don't you?"<br /><br />Maxxie just nodded, feeling sad. Wondering where his deep love for Tony had gone. Had it washed away? Really?<br /><br />And then Jared kissed him and everything started to unravel. It could have happened at a rave or an after party, but it didn't. Right here in the quietness of his own flat.<br /><br />Maxxie looked him over. It didn't take much to uncover Jared's bony body. Maxxie couldn't help but smile feeling the pleasure of Jared's full lips on him. In fact it was glorious and soothing at the same time. He hated to admit how much it thrilled him that if felt like kindness melting around him. Something that had never been Tony's motive. Not really.<br /><br />He felt Tony was an absolute taker but could easily worm you into believing it was all your doing. He tried his best not to think about him that way, but the longer he was in Jared's presence, it flowed through his veins. Tony was a wanker. He always would be.<br /><br />His hard on throbbed as Jared took it in. It was like good medicine. Drug-free and quite natural.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-43420303525565898142009-10-03T23:22:00.003-05:002009-10-03T23:40:38.482-05:00such oddsTony thought he was seeing things while he was out on the street. It couldn't be. He just imagined Maxxie was there when he wasn't. It was an awful feeling as if he'd digressed completely. being with the likes of Spencer what was to become of him if he kept this up?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7NrsePh7QxhjVGA6OHL-dPy405GA5TDUIDAQ0Sc1FUlbPRzegPnFoGaxm4cWEE11rf0uTYVNwHLx0vxeokya7ZlrsOVZyW_PVq137Up-dWcHpPB6c5PeHHiTp2KZATYE0hpclreAGygg/s1600-h/maxlook.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 180px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 235px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5388595770413259746" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7NrsePh7QxhjVGA6OHL-dPy405GA5TDUIDAQ0Sc1FUlbPRzegPnFoGaxm4cWEE11rf0uTYVNwHLx0vxeokya7ZlrsOVZyW_PVq137Up-dWcHpPB6c5PeHHiTp2KZATYE0hpclreAGygg/s400/maxlook.jpg" /></a><br /><div> </div><div>It was a clever business. Tony supposed. A bang for a buck. Was that how it went? It seemed that way an awful lot. Going out. Clubbing in places that were not his taste. Fucking in a backroom and all one really remembered was a swaying dimmed light bulb hanging from the ceiling. </div><div> </div><div>Sure there was a time when Tony liked to try new things. But this was getting a little tedious.</div><div> </div><div>First off, he didn't want to be with men old enough to be his father. It was disgusting. How in the world would he ever get out of this mess he'd been sucked in to. </div><div> </div><div>Of course, the drugs helped. It made Tony see clearly what he needed to do. And well, there was Spencer to tend to as well. But then when he saw that bloke who looked an awful lot like Maxxie, everything seemed to be tumbling down. It gave him a different perspective. Would Maxxie even want him now? Was there any way to go back?</div><div> </div><div>How long had he been gone?</div><div> </div><div>Truth be told he'd been defeated. Hadn't he? It just wasn't that easy to be ruthless, anymore. Especially, when the one individual he so wanted to have a throw down with was now telling him what to do.</div><div> </div><div>"Just don't do it," he said to this bloke who really looked lost there on the street.</div><div> </div><div>"Do what?" He was about as flaky as Maxxie too.</div><div> </div><div>"Go, somewhere else. Get out while you can. This establishment isn't all that, if you must know, and it doesn't suit you." Tony gave him the look over. "Do you have a name?"</div><div> </div><div>"Jamie."</div><div> </div><div>Tony just smiled. His accent was American. What was the odds of that?</div>ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-16979913313630372112009-09-24T10:28:00.002-05:002009-09-24T10:58:09.185-05:00Jared<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIeS5lSVggVN41BfhLOqBwITxESKAmYF7SidX784Ya-T4aRmnwLA6j0WWSBcbfM_hvWhaUA9TNeLilo_u5CYDTIYcB3zz9d4FJxNT3vUPZGvpX6pBvS1yDdGgeGKsH3LOj_ua-GLwO5f0/s1600-h/landpnpigg.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 317px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385057701637868050" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIeS5lSVggVN41BfhLOqBwITxESKAmYF7SidX784Ya-T4aRmnwLA6j0WWSBcbfM_hvWhaUA9TNeLilo_u5CYDTIYcB3zz9d4FJxNT3vUPZGvpX6pBvS1yDdGgeGKsH3LOj_ua-GLwO5f0/s400/landpnpigg.jpg" /></a><br /><div>Well, there might be a problem. Maxxie didn't want to think it was because it was just Jared.</div><div> </div><div>Not that he was that big in the theater. Not at all boastful. Not like some of those stinking actors who wanted to keep the dancers in their own category.</div><div> </div><div>Actually, Jared was a singer. Damn, amazing, in fact. He'd asked Maxxie to come out a time or two to see his band at a coffee shop. Granted, it wasn't the polluted underground with the rappers and a good dope. He was rather mellow and you know, more of a grownup scene. But he was quite natural and honest. And Maxxie found those two things fascinating about him. Also, he liked to hang around with building stuff. He really was brilliant when it came to fixing up the set. Even more so with the flat. If something were to go wrong, who to call? Jared.</div><div> </div><div>In all honesty, Jared had come through for Maxxie on so many occasions. He couldn't even count the ways how their friendship had somehow tightened.</div><div> </div><div>"You never want to see me," Jared brought up the fact.</div><div> </div><div>"That's not true. I do." Maxxie promised him on one of those little moments when Jared seem to be the only one to know how to fix something in the loo. Granted, it was an awkward situation to have him over in such close quarters where Mr. Clean had done his duty to make the place smell quite disinfected.</div><div> </div><div>"Then why don't you?" Jared sat there in the glaring light on the edge of the bathtub and Maxxie set on the commode lid.</div><div> </div><div>"I'm afraid." Maxxie let out a slight grin.</div><div> </div><div>"Afraid of what?" Jared looked at him so concerned that it almost took Maxxie's breath away.</div><div> </div><div>"Well, I'm waiting on someone to call or at least show up." Maxxie shrugged. "Only it hasn't happened yet. And what if I'm not here if, you know, he shows or something."</div><div> </div><div>"So you're telling me thats the way love works, then?" Jared brought up.</div><div> </div><div>"I guess." Maxxie pressed his lips together tight. It sounded so empty somehow.</div><div> </div><div>"I'm not asking to take you away from whom ever it is you fancy. Its just a show. You look like you need a good time. But you know, if I'm not your cup of tea, its all right. I understand." Jared told him.</div><div> </div><div>Maxxie bit his upper lip thinking, just maybe really Jared might be a certain cup of tea he was missing. How would he know if he didn't'- no, no he couldn't. He had to wait for Tony. He had too. Only, deep down, he wondered if Tony was waiting for him at.</div><div> </div><div>"Its just a show." Maxxie nodded. Just a show. He'd go and hope he got bored out of his skull.</div>ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-75180612116598938122009-09-12T15:22:00.003-05:002009-09-12T15:43:33.314-05:00crapperSpence was taking Tony all in, but it gave Tony the willies. He guessed. Even if Spence smoked some heavenly shit and let him have some to which helped him make this transition. He supposed.<br /><br />"Come on, don't be such kiddie." He messed with Tony's hair as if they were together now. "You aren't that innocent." He taunted Tony a bit up in his room. Their room.<br /><br />Before Tony knew it, Spence was buying him new clothes down at the vintage store. A tough leather jacket. Leather chaps to go with it.<br /><br />"Then you'll be Johnny Delicious, don't you think?" Spence smiled as if he knew a bit about style. He had the cash. He had the way. It was a good thing. Right?<br /><br />"I don't want anything of yours." Tony reminded him. Except, he had on the things he'd bought him. It was as if he could be a regular gigolo for him now. Was that it?<br /><br />"Aw,don't hurt yourself, son, you can't get a bit wicked on me. I know where you monkey lives." Spence laughed and laughed. "So hears the deal. You do me favor. I'll do you. Got it." His wise ass look got to Tony.<br /><br />He didn't know exactly where he was nor how he got so caught up in it. Sid wasn't not in sight. How in the hell was he gonna get out of this shit.<br /><br />"Sid. Sid." He thought he got him on his cell, but Sid left a message instead.<br /><br />"Can't make contact. Gone back for my Cass."<br /><br />"Shit." Tony was fucked and he knew it. What the hell could he do? Hanging out with the likes of Spence. He knew he was minutes away from being pimped out. Minutes. He dialed Maxxie in the restroom at some pub not far from his home in Bristol. It was the only way to get back to him. Some how.<br /><br />"Hullo." Damn, If Maxxie didn't sound fab and sexy in one word.<br /><br />"Maxxie?"<br /><br />"Tone." His voice sounded desperate then. "What is it? Where in the fuck are you?"<br /><br />"Some thing has gone wrong." He could barely put the words in a sentence. Maybe the drugs really were doing it for him. "I'm sorry."<br /><br />"Sorry for what?" He heard the pain in Maxxie's voice. "Listen, I got some news about the flat."<br /><br />"What?" His hearing was going. Maybe the phone.<br /><br />"Its quite brilliant, if I might say so. And the landlord, our boss, feels so bad for you and your family, and your sister. I see why you have to be with them now. You know, its awful, her being in a deep sleep and all. Its just, I miss you, babe. I honestly do."<br /><br />Tony chocked on his own flem. He really felt awful about what he'd done.<br /><br />"You stay as long as you have too. I understand. I'll be waiting for you." Maxxie told him.<br /><br />Tony felt as if his tears might as well have been blood. His face turned red. He missed him so much, but he wasn't sure he could come back anytime soon.<br /><br />He heard Maxxie say, "I love you."<br /><br />Tony slid his lean body down the brick wall of the loo and set there probably in old piss for all he knew. It was true. His life was in the crapper.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1577485407027377995.post-75283300208419876162009-09-07T01:17:00.002-05:002016-02-15T10:43:49.227-06:00over the rainbowSurprisingly, Maxxie was falling in love with High School Musical. It was better than nothing. He started out believing, but now it really felt the role was his own. And everyone was so damn helpful. Like really nice and understanding.<br />
<br />
Maxxie hadn't felt that in a long time. And he was learning things. Building sets. Painting things. When he wasn't running lines, learning song. It went on and on and it felt, as if he had a family now at the theater. And he wouldn't have to leave town. As it was mostly they performed to so many schools in the area. They came to watch the show at the theater. They came to watch them be silly Americans.<br />
<br />
Everything was quite wonderful except no word from Tony. Maxxie so tried. Phone calls. His mother kept hanging up on him. Told him to give it up, already.<br />
<br />
"What do you suppose that means?" He had Sketch to bitch about it too. Of course, she didn't want to hear about Tony either. And he hated having to rely on her so much. Finally, some fellows came around that he worked with, and said they'd help out at the flat.<br />
<br />
It was as if everything was looking up. They had the place fixed up in a day or two. Maxxie had a home to go to instead the disgusting shit hole Tony had started. Not only that, people were interested in the place and as luck would have it, if they did their own work, they could move in at a bargain.<br />
<br />
Brilliant, thought Maxxie. Yes, it was brilliant. And downstairs where the shops had been was enough room to put in a dance studio and a sandwich shop. Maxxie had so much to tell Tony but all he could do was leave voice messages.<br />
<br />
"When are you coming home, Tone?" Maxxie felt as if he were pleading after awhile, but he didn't give up. He kept up with the phone calls.ivyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10081846789891930288noreply@blogger.com1