maxxie n tony

suppose it can

2010-10-12T11:53:00.000-05:00

Something magical might happen. But Maxxie wasn't counting on it. Second thought. All was quiet. Was it too quiet? Hadn't had a good ounce of sleep in ages. It was just a bitterness that bled through him day and night.

"You just have to get used to the fact she's sticking around, you know." Tony was calm about it. Maxxie didn't get it.

"You really love me, don't you?" Maxxie could barely say the words. It was weird. Actually. Since it cut deep that Tony was rather a jerk about the whole Sketch thing. How could Max not know what he was doing with her? Really? Now it was like a pleasant little accident he was used to and suddenly could make the most of. Tony was all silly with Maddie. Making over her like he had his own little Tink in his room.

"Well, of course, you idiot." Tony gave him a playful scowl. Naturally, he looked back as if he was certain he'd roused the little beastie who was all a merry joy in a sleepful bliss, at the moment. Tony lingered with an open kiss while he had a chance. It was like pacifying a mystifying dream.

Maxxie closed his eyes gently as he felt Tony's touch slide down his abs and into his pants. Maxxie couldn't help but smile.

"I don't know if we should be doing this." Maxxie thought he meant to say, but he really didn't mean this as a smile came to him. Max felt Tony's lips on his chest as he straddled him on the bed.

"Well, I want to." Tony breathed him in once more as if Maxxie need a certain nourishment of some kind. His lips found parts of Maxxie that needed to be awaken, and yet he fell into a warm lull. It was coming together so sweetly as Tony stroked him a bit more with each longing kiss. Finally, Tony took in Maxxie's cock. Maxxie jerked into bliss. Tony took his breath away.

there comes a day

2010-09-16T10:07:00.000-05:00

Tony made a few calls. Actually, it started with one and multiplied. But three hours later he was at the hospital ready to take Maxxie home with the baby.

"Its been taken care of." He told him. It was the least he could do, find Sketch a final resting place.

Of course, he knew Maxxie didn't want to talk about it. He could see Maxxie looked full of guilt, but there was no Jared around. It was as if the bloke had taken a holiday from all this misery.

"Dunno what to do." Maxxie winced on the ride.

"Yes, you do. You'll do the right thing. You always do." Tony was so calm. It even scared himself. But the little one slept soundly in the carseat. How could she have this sort of calming effect on him? It really surprised Tony.

Of course, he knew Maxxie was in a very dark place. Tony could hardly stand it. He just wanted to make all over him, but he knew he'd have to win him back. It might be a very slow process. It seemed so. The ride home. The heavy walk up all those flights of stairs. Nappies. Baby things. God, it was really happening. Was he just settling? Maybe this truly was home.

Tony thought he might get all weepy. But then Maxxie turned the door knob and the lights went on.

"Surprise!" A crowd cheered.

All the people Tony had been leaving in limbo down at his job. Folks Maxxie knew from the shows and even Maxxie's mum squeezed into their little flat for a coming home party. They'd brought prezzies for the baby. Even a crib. Lots of food and drink. It would be a celebration. Life with a whole new meaning had arrived. Tony suspected he better behave. At least for a little while.

one summer never ends ...one summer never begins

2010-09-02T08:03:00.065-05:00

The time had arrived. It all started with a well lit corridor that felt endless to get down through. And then it was as if time stood still. Jared had to let Maxxie go.

Of course, he remembered how Sketch had talked to him months ago about where the birth would happen. They'd had weekly lunches together. Usually at the park or the nearby diner. It was always something simple. He could imagine it that way, still. Meeting her for lunch after the baby was born. Something simple. Just a part-time dad. Well, he knew there would be more to it, than that. Surly, she would want to bond with the child. And then go on her big adventure to New York City. Well, it was planned. He'd have full custody of their child. Just not right away.

But now it was the waiting to endure. It felt so somber and just odd to Maxxie. But Sketch seemed to be OK. Possibly having fun. All right, child birth was not fun. Really. Nothing funny about it. But to mark the occasion that life wasn't just with a push and shove, but a lingering pain of agony that might take most of the day and then the night.

Why hadn't he eaten before? Well, he would have surely thrown up. And then he thought Sketch would squeeze the life out of him. So much heaving and fretting. Jesus, she was a piglet. A sweaty one at that. It clearly disgusted Maxxie. But he couldn't leave her. Her Mum had died and she never really had a Dad. It was clear to him that he was all the family she had.

Yet, even now it was clear she wanted to alienate everyone. She wasn't exactly satisfied with anything.

He went out to the corridor in hopes to find Jared, but he wasn't there. Just his Dad.

"Dad, what are you doing here?" Maxxie grinned from ear to ear. He was the last thing he expected. Wasn't his dad off at dog show these days? "Where's Mum?" Maxxie looked at him blankly.

"Don't you recall how she went off with that Frenchie from Brussels?" His Dad was quick to point out.

"What?" He must be dreaming. Had to be.

"You know, this family, you do as you please." He shrugged. But he gave Maxxie a hug told him he was proud of him. How he was so much more of a son than he'd ever imagined and hoped his daughter would be as much a gift to him as he was to his Dad. "I love ya, son."

Maxxie bit his bottom lip. He might have been sleep walking. The whole thing might not be real. But in a few moments they were reeling him in. It was happening. Really happening this time. Not just endless contractions.

Thats when the bloody mess started. It was an awful mess. But Sketch was so happy that it was over. A child was born, and it was their's. A beautiful blue-eye baby. Immediately, he got to hold the baby. The cord was clipped and he went to help clean up the child.

Maxxie was a little squeamish of the process. So much blood. That's when he noticed the nurses and the doctors coming over Sketch. So many shouts. Beeps from machines. The curtains drawn.

It made his heart ache, a little. But so did the beauty who was in his arms. She looked up at him all serious. Where did that come from? He wondered. From Sketch or himself? He went on to help with the baby. A series of tests she went through just to confirm she was normal. It was quiet now. Maxxie wasn't sure what was happening with Sketch. He wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"Does she have a name yet?" The nurse asked.

"Yes." Maxxie thought so. No going back on this one. "Zoey." He peeked around the corner then. Sketch was gone. A cold breath sprung though him. He knew this was bad. Really, bad, but Zoey was with him. It was Maxxie and Zoey now.

like lovers do

2010-07-05T08:47:00.000-05:00

Tony stayed in the shower til it was freak'n cold. He couldn't seem to wash all of Spence off of him even if it had been weeks. Months perhaps. He felt the guilt oozing through him. How could he deal with this? Now.

And it certainly didn't help any about Maxxie's situation. Was he serious? What the fuck had Sketch done to him? Honestly? Drugged him? Or was he just that hard up when Tony left like that?

So much was on his mind as he slowly got around to soaping up once more. Rinsing off. The shower beating into his chest like a cold hard rain.

What the hell was he to do? Maxxie. A Dad.

A shiver ran through him. What would he do now? He wanted to be the center of Maxxie's world. He didn't want to share it with anyone.

Damn, if he didn't have to contend with that hippie yippy bloke Jared. Seriously, how could Maxxie want to have a thing to do with that skinny bastard? It just didn't make sense. Who were these people?

He squinted hard as he dried off. Just how would he deal with it? He knew he had to be happy that he had a home to come back too. Honestly. But he so wanted it to be just he and Maxxie. Not all this. Tony fretted a bit then, leaving the loo all wet and possibly nasty. After all he'd been through and had escaped such a very dark world. Wasn't Maxxie happy he was all clean and sober?

Naturally, he'd neglected to tell Max about that tiny addiction of his. But he had it under control now. It was all under control. All of it. Nothing could hold him back now. Maxxie would see he was true to him. Right?

He had a towel wrapped around his waist. He went to the bedroom to dress. He guessed he should actually have clothes on. All he could find were Maxxie's jockeys and jeans. Of course, the jeans were a bit short on him. But Tony didn't seem to mind. They smelled of him. Sweet. Like a field of lavender. Baby soft too. He took a sniff of Maxxie's V-necked T. It felt good to be so close. Sort of like looking from the inside out.

A smile came to Tony.

"Aye, Max?" Tony yelled for him then. They should go out. Maybe the zoo. Maybe something ordinary and casual. The shops perhaps. Even the park. A picnic in the park. Yeah, something honestly genuinely sweet. Like lovers do on an ordinary day.

"Maxxie?" Tony called. But there was no answer. He went to see if he were in the kitchen. The front room. Anywhere. But Maxxie was no where to be found.

any moment

2010-05-27T13:40:00.001-05:00

When Sketch called to tell Maxxie she was in labor, Max just about shit himself.

"What!" He was startled for starters. He looked around wondering what to do. What was he, really in all this? Just a sperm donor? He winced hard trying to catch his breath. "OK! OK! WHERE ARE YOU?"

She was on in transit. Belly up, in fact, in the ambulance. "HURRY! You wanker!" Was all he got out of her. She was in so much pain. Maxxie was in instant agony.

"Fuck! Fuck!" He pressed direct dial to Jared then.

"I need you!" He didn't wait for hello.

Tony was in the shower.

"I'll meet you on the street, just outside in a bit." Maxxie told Jared it was time.

"I'll pop around pronto." He knew Jared meant it too. He'd be there in a heartbeat.

Maxxie slid into his jeans and pushed into a buttoned down white shirt. He almost forgot his shoes. Then he hesitated. He should leave a note. But there was nothing to write on. He heard the water stop. Bitterness came over Maxxie, thinking of Tony being mad and arrogant. He took a deep breath and ran down the stairwell to meet Jared who was waiting in his wee economy car.

"I can't wait!" Jared grinned. "I missed you, babe." He reached to kiss Maxxie on the cheek, but Max didn't want friendly. He Frenched Jared to let him know he was the best. He was. This was the real deal. Not having Tony be a prick and take advantage of him, out of spite. Still Maxxie was shaking. He was to be a father any moment now. Any moment.

a Jared moment

2010-03-28T12:29:00.001-05:00

Jared did not want a bit part in Maxxie's life. After all, he'd spent a good portion of the last few month having him get over that foe of his. Tony was no friend in Jared's eyes.

It hurt when Maxxie shut him out like that. Granted, he knew he had to give them some space. Some time, well, time was up. Jared didn't want to waste it on worrying what Maxxie was doing with Tony because, damn it, he loved him and he knew he was a good for him. Maxxie had to know that deep down. They were a couple, weren't they? Hell, he had his tooth-brush in the bathroom. His old beat up guitar was under the futon. He kept his juice boxes there. Really, it was their home. He'd just gone back to his place to wait with the members from his band, who rented dirt cheap from him now.

His place was with Maxxie. They had a future. A baby on the way. Jared could hardly stand it being away from Maxxie. He needed him. And he had good reason to think Maxxie needed protection.

This Tony and he could get in a row. He just wasn't sure Maxxie could take a blow. He needed his face for the show. He needed not to be Tony's enabler. It was best to let Tony sink his own ship and get on with life. The fuck would only bring Maxxie down in the end. Tony was the definition of a wanker. Did Maxxie not know this?

It was easy to tell with that sly look of Tony's. His seductive smile. It aggravated Jared to no end. He had to find a way to put a stop to this. Now.

while you were away

2010-03-05T15:07:00.001-06:00

Obviously, Maxxie was quite an industrious little devil as of late. An it shown. The place was a home. Tony hadn't counted on that. Really, he wasn't sure what he imagined would be here for him, but he felt like getting up early and making breakfast for Maxxie. It felt like a good start.

"I didn't know you could even do it." Maxxie was shocked at the mess he'd made in the skillet. True, you couldn't make out if it were a crepe or just eggs.

"I might surprise you." Tony's tense blue eyes met Maxxie who sort of smiled as he sat down as if it were Tony's turn to be domesticated.

"Yeah, I know." Maxxie was a bit mysterious.

"And you surprised me, with, you know, perfection." He looked around. "Didn't think this shit hole could take it, you know. And you proved me wrong."

Tony put down the plates of food. Maxxie started off with downing his juice. And then a laugh broke through.

"What's wrong?" Tony looked at him serious.

"Nothing." Maxxie tried a bit of the mess which was filled with cheese and ham. "Its great." He faked a smile.

Tony doubted it, but he ate anyway because he was hungry.

"So Tone, where you been?" Maxxie nursed his black coffee then.

"Why? I fucked Spence." Tony said so matter of fact.

Maxxie spewed his coffee everywhere. Some even went up his nose. It made Tony smile. He reached for a towel to clean him up.

Maxxie got in a coughing bit, but then cleared his throat. "How so? You mean, literally, or..."

"Max," Tony rolled his eyes. How could he explain it? He sat back down and took a minute to think with his coffee. "Look, there are some you fuck, because, well, they have a nice bum. And some do it out of the pure joy of just fuck'n them over. And that's what I did to Spence." Tony shrugged.

"Jesus! Tony! Why did I ever let you back in my life!" Maxxie squinted hard as if Tony had ripped his heart out and stomped on it.

"Maxxie, you have to get over shit like this. Its done. I did exactly what I set out to do. And I'm back, with you. Don't be such a baby."

"A baby?" Maxxie looked Tony straight in the eye then, licking his dry lips. "Well, I have some news for you. There is a baby. And its coming home any day. I'm not sure I want you around. Cause you'd fucking fuck that up for me. Now wouldn't you?"

"A baby?" Tony scowled. "What the fuck are you going on about?"

"Sketch is having my baby." Maxxie pressed his lips hard.

Tony squinted back so bitter as if Maxxie had done the unthinkable.

how it is

2010-02-05T04:48:00.020-06:00

What had Maxxie let Tony do?

Maxxie blinked after it was over. He couldn't tell if his eyes were wet from crying or just the sweat. Tony's sex mingled with his. There was a slight regret. He thought of Jared, and he knew why his eyes were wet. Such regret. He hated a part of himself as he looked back at Tony sleeping soundly now.

Tony was so unpredictable and he'd left Maxxie raw and sad, but not completely.

The sex had been so amazing. And he hated the idea that he'd let Tony get to him so. Especially, when it had been the last thing on his mind. He felt so miserable now. He could go. Only, he didn't want to give up his home. He couldn't.

There were other things to worry about. Like the baby. It was coming. Any day now, in fact. He needed a home. He knew Tony would hate him even more when he knew about it. Tears peaked around the corners of his eyes. It was so harsh, the reality of this.

Yet, Tony snuggled up to him, wrapping himself around Maxxie as he couldn't possibly get away from him. Maxxie closed his eyes. They had the night. Tomorrow was another day. Maxxie got as comfortable as he could. Trying to not think of Jared and what he might think of him now. If he knew. Really knew, just how weak he truly was for Tony.

and then some

2010-01-28T02:25:00.031-06:00

Tony felt Maxxie's face. He smiled. He loved the texture of his skin even if it weren't completely as perfect as it might seem. But he remembered it, well. He was beautiful. He stroked his abs, wondering if it were just a dream.

Yes, it was real. There was the goddamn hair. How could he have let them use him this way. It still angered Tony, but when he looked in his eyes, he knew it was him. It was really Maxxie, and he couldn't get enough of him.

Somehow they'd made it to the bed as Tony undressed him. He had to see all of him. Because he wanted him. Completely. He drew him into his lap. Tony's legs apart. Just to cradle him a bit. Kissing Maxxie's neck, as he ignored the hair as much as he could. He sensed Maxxie's heaves. He'd missed him too. He wanted him, just as much. Tony was certain of it as he smiled with satisfaction as he hands came around Maxxie as Tony pushed and pulled at his cock.

It was so warm. Tony thought he might eat him, but instead they lunged forward as the pillow caught Maxxie's face, letting Tony's fingers find the core of him first as he felt Maxxie pulsating for him. It made Tony all the more hard as if he might burst before he even got there. But no, Tony pressed himself in slow as not to shock Maxxie completely.

It was good to be home. Very satisfying to touch the beauty of Maxxie's ass. It was like art being with Maxxie. Now if he could only have Maxxie's goddamn head shaved. But he had to cum first. And he was cumming at full throttle.

a kiss with a fist

2010-01-23T09:21:00.000-06:00

"I don't want this!" Maxxie got away, far as he could from Tony at the table. Suddenly, there was a fear of kitchen knives and the like. Maxxie was sure Tony could find anything to abuse him with. He just had to be stronger. "I want to help you, I do. Its just, you've gone too far! Something has happened to you! And, and...LEAVE! YOU HAVE TO LEAVE, TONY!"

Tony was shaking his head, no. "How could you do this to me! How could you!" Tony whimpered. He broke down crying.

"I had no choice!" Maxxie squinted. "You left me! You give shit about NO ONE. But yourself, Tone!" Maxxie gritted as if he didn't know where in the hell this was going. He was certain he'd matured more than Tony ever would, even if he did tower over him.

Tony shook his head, no as if he didn't believe a word Maxxie said.

"I want you," Tony said. "Very much. Its just...." Tony pressed his lips tight, thinking with a squint. He started to shake.

"Are you all right?" Maxxie couldn't believe it. What the fuck was going on, he thought as he watched him unravel. "Tony! Tony!" Tony flinched in the floor like a fish out water. Maxxie didn't know what to think. He went to him. It was as if Tony were having a seizure of some kind. He needed help. He was so desperate as if he might suck his tongue down his throat or his eyes might fall out. Maxxie went to him. There on the floor. Finally the seizure calmed.

"I'm truly a better actor than you'll ever be." He said so sweetly then as he looked up at Maxxie. His fingers came around Maxxie's neck as he pulled him in and Frenched him ever so longingly as if he'd never forget who he really was to Maxxie. "Now let me fuck the shit out of you. Its been a long time coming." He whispered in his ear.

so troubled

2010-01-15T16:08:00.001-06:00

Tony saw what he'd done to Maxxie. The sad look on his face said it all.

"Sorry." His face tensed as he let go of Maxxie's hand. "Terribly."

"You don't look well, Tone." Tony barely saw Maxxie's mouth move.

"What?" Tony shook his head.

"Lets have some wine shall we?" Maxxie poured glasses of red wine. "Tell me, how you been?"

"Fine," Tony said so coldly. "Just fine."

"Good." Maxxie made small talk. "And your sister, is she all right?"

Tony sipped the wine instead.

"Tony, I'm sorry." Maxxie squinted then. "I'm really sorry about everything."

"I hate your hair," Tony confessed.

"Yeah, well, it was for a show, you know." Maxxie nodded.

"A fuck'n show. You're letting the show ruin your life, is that it?" Tony's teeth clenched.

"No. That's not it. I have to pay the bills." Maxxie tried to explain.

"You're fuck'n him, aren't you?" Tony gave him a dead stare.

Maxxie pressed his lips tight and looked away as if he hadn't meant to cause him any pain.

"Stop shitting me, you've let that twat move in, hadn't you!" Tony scowled. "You don't even fuck'n know me, do you?"

Maxxie's face tense as if he might cry.

"Shut it!" Tony swelled a frown. It was quiet then. So quiet. Everything so still.

"I hate you." Tony thought he heard Maxxie say. It was barely a whisper. Just a slight noise in the air. "I hate you." There it was again. Like a ghost. "I hate you." So simply said.

Tony gazed at Maxxie then. He grabbed his neck as if he might choke him.

"Show me you love me!" Tony squinted tears. "Show me!" He unbuttoned his pants then. "I want it! A fuck'n blow job. And I want it now!"

Maxxie gasped for air. Tony was making it so hard to breathe. Tony found himself smiling. He always liked being in control.

I'm not a robot

2010-01-04T14:31:00.003-06:00

Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot

You've been hanging with the unloved kids
Who you never really liked and you never trusted
But you are so magnetic, you pick up all the pins
Never committing to anything
You don't pick up the phone when it ring, ring, rings
Don't be so pathetic, just open up and sing

I'm vulnerable, I'm vulnerable
I am not a robot
You're loveable, so loveable
But you're just troubled
-marina and the diamonds

Maxxie was pretty sure dinner was over before he even got it on the table when he saw Tony standing there.

"Are you all right?" Maxxie knew he had to go to him, but he felt as if some long lost pup had found its way home and now decided to be rabid.

"Of course," Tony squinted hard. "Its you. What have they done to you?"

Maxxie looked at Jared. He nudged him that it might be best he go. They'd gone over it before. They were not to kiss. Especially, it Tony were around.

"You sure?" Jared, in all his sincerity, looked as if it would be hard to go. Maxxie just nodded. "We have a lot to discuss." He said under his breath.

Jared just nodded again and got his coat and left.

"What the fuck have they done to you?" Tony said once again after Jared left. It looked as if it pained him not to see his old Maxxie.

"Its just a show, it'll grow out." He promised about the curls as he edged Tony to the couch. "Sit. Please."

But he could see Tony was a bit shattered and out of sorts with all the changes.

"Do you like it?" Maxxie asked about the flat.

"Dunno, not what I was expecting." Tony shook his head. Even when he was seated Maxxie wasn't quite sure he was steady.

"Some people from the theater helped me out with the flat." Maxxie explained.

"Really?" Tony squinted and Maxxie wasn't sure if Tony was mad or just sad. "That bloke who was here, did he help you?"

"That's, that's Jared." Maxxie felt himself stumbling over his words. "He's really good with a hammer."

Tony looked soured to everything.

"Are you hungry?" Maxxie asked. All he got was a shrug from Tony.

"Come on, eat something. Its just a stew, but you look like a good meal would do you." Maxxie got up to fill up the bows with the beefy stew he'd made. "Most times its just vegetables, but I thought it might be a treat."

Tony said nothing but found the chair where Jared usually took his meals. It felt awkward now with Tony sitting there, but Maxxie served him as if he'd always done it this way, except he hadn't. Usually, it was pizza in bed or a stead of diet of smoking cigarettes for the most part.

"How you been?" Maxxie wanted to know once he'd poured a sweet red wine and sat down to eat with him.

Tony shrugged as he dipped a piece of sour dough bread in the stew and ate it slowly.

"I missed you." Maxxie said.

Tony grabbed the top of Maxxie's hand then and squeezed it so hard.

"How much?" He glared at Maxxie.

"Tony? Please!" Maxxie squinted. The pain was so intense and excruciating. Maxxie clenched his teeth. What the hell had happened to Tony?

always on my mind

2009-12-27T10:34:00.000-06:00

Maybe I didn't love you quite as good as I should have,
Maybe I didn't hold you quite as often as I could have,
Little things I should have said and done,
I just never took the time.
You were always on my mind,
You were always on my mind.
Maybe I didn't hold you all those lonely, lonely times,
And I guess I never told you,
I'm so happy that you're mine,
If I made you feel second best,
I'm sorry, I was blind.
You were always on my mind,
You were always on my mind,
Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died,
Give me, give me one more chance to keep you satisfied,
If I made you feel second best,
I'm sorry, I was blind.
You were always on my mind,
You were always on my mind.
-pet shop boys

Tony knew he was getting closer. Funny, how he'd lost his way home. It was quite ridiculous. Perhaps he wasn't as sane as he thought he was. Maybe he never was. But he was coming home. Although, it felt quite strange, and he couldn't quite remember why he'd left to begin with.

His sister's damn fault. No less. It was all so sad. He couldn't even find a cigarette to keep him balanced. Really, he wasn't in the best of shape even if he looked it. What would Maxxie think when he saw him?

He drifted on. He felt himself peering in the doorway to the place they called home. Only, it was quite different from the shambles he'd left it. But wasn't it him who'd found themselves a place to squat? He was the one looking out for the both of them..now wasn't he?

But what if Maxxie wasn't here? What if he moved on? Found a show? Gone abroad, somehow. No, Tony was sure he would have felt it. He would have. They had that sort of connection. He believed. Some of the time. When he felt like it. Like, right now. It couldn't just go up like smoke fading fast into the atmosphere or being a part of this smoggy haven.

Had he found his way home? Really? He'd never know until he turned that knob and opened that door. Except it was locked. No one would let him in.

"What the fuck!" He kicked at the door then. Banging hadn't done much good with his fist. And when the door budged, he was met with some unknown face instead.

"You're not Maxxie." He squinted hard.

"Tony?" The mystery man said instead.

"Yeah, that's right? How did you know?" Tony looked around at the place that was quite new and so fetching.

"Tony?" Someone familiar said who was setting an extra plate at the table. Was that who he thought it was? Maxxie.

"Who in the fuck are you?" Tony thought he might collapse. What had they done to his Maxxie? Changed is hair? Made him up to be something he wasn't. Really, a foolish cause, indeed. Tony was swallowed in so much sadness. How in the world would he find what he'd missed so?

like a punch in the face

2009-12-20T13:58:00.003-06:00

Maxxie had this feeling of woe. He was sure he was going to regret this soon. But Tony was out there. He just knew it. Even if he'd called a million times, and Tony never took a damn message. It made him angry and sullen.

"You don't have to feel that way," Jared was there every step. He wasn't flaking out on him like Tony. Actually, he was pretty much enjoying life with him. It was a beautiful thing. Jared made him smile. He wanted to go places with him. Hold hands. Be a real boyfriend.

Not this dumb ass shit where one day everything was spectacular and the next you meant nothing to him. Maxxie despised that.

Why did he have to feel so guilty? Why was Tony such an arse? Why hadn't he been there for him? What the fuck was going on?

But there was Jared on the park bench with him, huddled in the cold, wrapped up tight, making out, lip lock, snogging fast, slowly, splendidly, just lovely in the winter time.

"I love you," he'd breathe in Maxxie's ear. How could one resist something so quaint and extraordinary? Jared was love. He didn't know what the fuck Tony was?

Someone to fuck you over when he felt like it and then laugh behind your back, wishing you nothing of pain and misery. That was his Tony. Unappreciative. Feral. Crazy shit. Letting his cock decide for him.

But he was under Maxxie's skin. Every thought always went back to him.

the doldrums

2009-12-11T13:49:00.000-06:00

It was beginning to feel like Christmas. Well, Tony noticed all the Christmas lights now. He kind of found himself rewinding back. His sis was still in the hospital. No change. Might as well have been a vegetable.

He wondered if she'd been there for him when he was under. Maybe she was. Maybe she wasn't. Really, it didn't feel like a great concern to him. He was just laying low. Licking his wounds, perhaps, at home in his old room. What there was of it. His parents weren't together anymore. Didn't bother him that much. He knew his mum was a bit of a basket case, but when wasn't she?

Jamie was in rehab. He was just a little sick in the head. Maybe. Honestly, Tony didn't give a shit anymore, because most likely, Jamie wouldn't have given a shit, anyhow. So all was well, wasn't it? Except for one thing. Friends.

Sid went back to New York City. He was determained to make it work with Cassie. All Effy's friends were real shits. Especially, that Cook. Tony hated him the most. This Freddie, who may or may not be significant in his sis' life, was more of a stoner than anything. Just thought his sis could do better, but he didn't comment about it. No, he slept a lot. Smoked a lot and thought about calling Maxxie. He would eventually, it just didn't feel right, somehow.

Cause he had a lot shit to explain. That would just about kill him. Of course, it was killing him slowly that he hadn't picked up the damn phone and made the call. For all he knew, it might be a wrong number now. Then what?

Best he could do was put a big scowl about it. Sulk. And whack off. Three of the most important things of the day.

an old feeling

2009-11-26T08:26:00.023-06:00

Maxxie awoke in the middle of the night. He thought his flesh was burning where Tony had stabbed him with the lit cigarette in his thigh some time ago. Maxxie turned on the lamp and threw back the covers just to see if it were still a wound. Just his imagination, he guessed.

"What's the matter?" Jared rose up on his elbows and stared at Maxxie.

"Its nothing." He shivered. He squinted then thinking of Tony. What would he do if he came home now? It scared Maxxie.

"You know, maybe you should-" No, he couldn't ask Jared to leave. He was good as moved in.

"What is it?" Jared wanted to know.

"I-I might be expecting company the next few days - and -" Maxxie was troubled with this feeling that Tony would be back soon.

"Its all right." Jared looked at him. "I have my own place, you know."

Maxxie nodded.

"You sure?" Maxxie felt sad about this. He didn't know what to do. Really, he and Tony were finished. It felt so. It had been so long since he'd heard from him. It had to be over. But he needed to hear him out too. And he couldn't do that with Jared around.

"May I ask, who?" Jared looked at him so serious.

"Just an old friend. We need to sort things out. Catch up, sort of, but not really. Nothings going to be going on. Its just, he thinks of this flat as his own." Maxxie told him.

"But you're the one who did all the work. We did." Jared looked at him blankly.

"I know." Maxxie looked so sad. Jared kissed him.

"Are you sure I can't stay?" He put his arm around Maxxie. "I don't want you to be alone."

When Maxie felt Jared lips on his neck and his shoulder, he closed his eyes. He wasn't sure he wanted to be alone with Tony, either.

looking out a dirty old window

2009-11-18T15:04:00.003-06:00

It was all coming back to Tony. Sort of. It was a dream perhaps. A dream about Maxxie. It made him smile when he thought about Maxxie somewhere basking in sunshine and that happy face of his. Such bliss. Perhaps the time of his life. Things were good for him. He was the star of the show. Singing and dancing. Lots of dancing. Amazing dancing. Just the dancing. His movements drifted Tony more as if he could not wake up from this dream. This electric dream.

And then it hit him. Right between the eyes. Because Spencer poured a bucket of cold water right in the face. His eyes shot open. Gulping back, just in his undies. Pale as a junkie would be.

"What are you doing, you piece of shit?" Spencer demanded.

Oh, that really wound Tony. He glared at Spencer. This was it. This was enough. He wouldn't have it. It was either now or never with Spencer. Now or never!

"That lil' yank of yours couldn't keep up, Tone!" Spencer's eyes bulged.

Tony winced, bitterly, grabbed Spencer by the face and shoved him away, kicked him right in balls too. And then Tony smirked. It was a good feeling to have. Knowing how Spencer had done his damnedest to break him down.

Tony got up from the wet bed and grabbed Spencer by the throat and shoved him to the wall.

Spencer was weak. He gagged so and Tony didn't care. No, this was for his sister. This was what he'd come to do. Choke the life out of him. He smashed Spencer in the face with his fist. Again and again and again. Like a clock ticking, ready for the alarm. Until there wasn't much to Spencer to fight back. And then he wiped him out clean. Cash. Drug. Whatever. Of course, it had taken him weeks to get here. He guessed. Tony had had his fun. It was time to head home.

lowering the boom

2009-10-29T11:21:00.003-05:00

Really, it felt like a beautiful thing with Jared.

Maxxie wanted to gush about it, but he couldn't. No one could probably stand him saying things like. "I fuck him. He fucks me. Morning. Noon. Night." Everyday was a new day coming. And now they had FAME to break in the next few weeks for the holidays. Yes! Maxxie was in a musical with Jared. All was so lovely. Like an answered prayer of some kind. And then Sketch called.

"I put this off as long as I could," Sketch started, telling Maxxie he needed to sit down to hear this.

"What is it?" Maxxie tensed.

"I thought this was what I wanted, but I'm not so sure anymore." Sketch sounds so sad as if she were at the end of something.

"What did you want?" Maxxie didn't get it. Perhaps he was just the oblivious sort, but he'd been busy with the musical, and life with Jared.

"Your baby."

"What?"

"Please, don't be mad at me. Will you?"

"I dunno, what to say." It was a shock. Inevitable he supposed. "How far along are you?"

"6 months."

"6 months?" Shit, how long had Tony been gone? Maxxie felt faint. He wasn't sure how to take it. A kid was the last thing he expected.

"It was just an accident. Really, it was, you know. I'm sorry." She was crying.

"Its all right." He winced. He guessed it would have to be. "What do you want me to do?"

"I dunno if I can do this. I'm not ready to be a mother."

"Do you think I'm anymore ready?" This was ridiculous. "Something, you say, you always wanted, and you don't know if you're ready? Christ sake, woman, what gives?"

"Can you keep it?"

"Dunno." Maxxie squinted hard. "Keep it? You don't want it?"

"I got this really great promotion with the company, but I need to move state side. New York City. I can go right after the kid is born." She told him.

"Now its just a kid, is it. My kid? You are unloading quite a load a shit on me, and you don't even want to share, now do you?"

"I'll send you cash, honestly I would." She explained. "I would help you raise her."

"A daughter?"

"Yes."

This was something he had to see for himself. He thought he might go on a bender of some kind. Life was going on, and he had to hang on to what mattered.

an inquisition

2009-10-25T01:01:00.005-05:00

Spencer: (sitting like a pompous ass on the bed, waiting for conscious answers) Tone, you know this is a business, don't you? (Looks Tony over as well as Jamie. Both look functional, a little edgy, but not quite dressed, just in jeans, barefooted. Tony seems to be scratching at a tiny scab on his cheek. Both look as if they need sleep, yet hold an ominous skeleton look about them in the shadow of their eyes.)

Tony: Yeah. (Tony shrugs. Won't look Spencer in the eye. Scratches his scab ever so slightly) So? (He winces like its not a problem of his.)

Spencer: Boys, need to take in consideration of their clients. Now don't you? You've become disgusting pigs. And I don't even know where you picked up this prick(looks at Jamie). But clean yourselves up. Aye? (he doesn't look to pleased with either of them.)

Tony: Jamie's a Yank. (Tony looks serious as if Jamie might be a special).

Spencer: Yum (he smirks as if that isn't enough). What's he do? Sings all the words to the Star Spangle Banner when he cums? Who gives a fuck!

Jamie: (sounding so nervous and a bit jumpy) Actually, I'm...uh...Canadian, Vancouver.

Spencer: Don't nauseate me, please? (Spencer flinches).

(Tony looks at Jamie. Shrugging, as if he didn't know Jamie was Canadian. Tony holds in a giggle. Jamie too as if this is all fucking hilarious, and yet they stand there in the old motel room as if they have their hands tied.)

Spencer: Look, I'm not running a zombie clinic. OK? (his eyes lit as if he'd just soon as kill one of them so the other could watch him die in hopes something might change for the better). Get your fucking game on! We're here to make some cash! DO YOU HEAR ME? GAME ON. Start fucking with a lot less shit in your system. If you know whats good for you. You do it my way or you may have a lot to regret.

(Tony nods as if its a warning he should take seriously, but he looks at Jamie from the corner of his eye. He knows he'll just have to be more clever.)

monsters

2009-10-17T01:31:00.003-05:00

over imbibed
under the mister
barely alive we
cover the blisters in flannel
though the words we speak
are banal
not one of them's a lie
not one of them's a lie
you're what happens when
two substances collide
and by all accounts
you really should've died
-andrew bird

Hanging out with Jamie was a good laugh. Really. He was quite innocent in the beginning. Obviously, he made Tony think of the one person he was away from. Yet, he gave him no sad feelings at all. And possibly, Jamie could do the things that Maxxie would not do. There was just so much Maxxie would do to his body. Sure, they got high together and occasionally Maxxie might take a pill or two, but really, nothing serious. Definitely, not hard core. After all, wasn't Maxxie just a looker. Window dressing. Selfish prick. Tony had decided after all this time. Really, Maxxie's concern in life was taking fuck'n care of himself. He definitely wasn't going to take as much speed as Tony knew he could handle.

Oh, and the things he could do with Jamie when they both took a little speed. It felt so excellent. Punks without a care in the world. Smashing into each other. Fierce fucking. Not anything else like it. It should always be that good. That is if he could remember it.

Coming down was just as good. Hard ons were bad. What had been some amazing kicking, ass-fucking was now just something to help you dream about before the itching set in, but maybe thats when he needed Jamie the most. Feeling like ice, touching ice, freezing in pain, feeling his body faultering step by step with each pulse. He found himself grinding into Jamie until he could do it no more. Then waking up to find that he was still there, wondering how they'd score to go on again.

Feeling the need

2009-10-10T09:53:00.003-05:00

Maxxie knew it had all boiled down to luck, lately. Luck with so many things.

1. striking up a friendship with Jared who was a talent on his own with building things. It was like he had his own beat to a certain drummer when it came to success. He was fantastically swell. And honestly, Maxxie hadn't had quite a friend like him in a long while.

2. Maxxie had a home. Finally. It was quite brilliant what had happened. Sweet living conditions for the group, he knew in the building that he and Tony had squatted in. It was a coop of sorts. Really, it was amazing how much had been accomplished in a short while, and yet Tony was still away. It didn't help much that his mother kept hanging up on him. But really, things were good even if Tony was not here.

"Things could be even much better," Jared said, and there was this smile he had that Maxxie obviously knew could be true to him. He'd come out with Jared a few times to watch his shows. It was very mature and nothing quite as chaotic as going out with Tony to the underground and expecting the worst, usually. And yet he missed that with Tony.

"Right." Maxxie just nodded wishing Jared hadn't showed up at his place, and yet he was glad too because he hated being so alone. One could only masturbate so long wishing someone was there when they weren't. And he'd decided it best to keep is distance from Sketch who was a controlling little freak even when didn't know it.

"You're really uber fit, you know, but that's not it." Jared shrugged. "I like your company, and I think you like mine, as well. Don't you?"

Maxxie just nodded, feeling sad. Wondering where his deep love for Tony had gone. Had it washed away? Really?

And then Jared kissed him and everything started to unravel. It could have happened at a rave or an after party, but it didn't. Right here in the quietness of his own flat.

Maxxie looked him over. It didn't take much to uncover Jared's bony body. Maxxie couldn't help but smile feeling the pleasure of Jared's full lips on him. In fact it was glorious and soothing at the same time. He hated to admit how much it thrilled him that if felt like kindness melting around him. Something that had never been Tony's motive. Not really.

He felt Tony was an absolute taker but could easily worm you into believing it was all your doing. He tried his best not to think about him that way, but the longer he was in Jared's presence, it flowed through his veins. Tony was a wanker. He always would be.

His hard on throbbed as Jared took it in. It was like good medicine. Drug-free and quite natural.

such odds

2009-10-03T23:22:00.003-05:00

Tony thought he was seeing things while he was out on the street. It couldn't be. He just imagined Maxxie was there when he wasn't. It was an awful feeling as if he'd digressed completely. being with the likes of Spencer what was to become of him if he kept this up?

It was a clever business. Tony supposed. A bang for a buck. Was that how it went? It seemed that way an awful lot. Going out. Clubbing in places that were not his taste. Fucking in a backroom and all one really remembered was a swaying dimmed light bulb hanging from the ceiling.

Sure there was a time when Tony liked to try new things. But this was getting a little tedious.

First off, he didn't want to be with men old enough to be his father. It was disgusting. How in the world would he ever get out of this mess he'd been sucked in to.

Of course, the drugs helped. It made Tony see clearly what he needed to do. And well, there was Spencer to tend to as well. But then when he saw that bloke who looked an awful lot like Maxxie, everything seemed to be tumbling down. It gave him a different perspective. Would Maxxie even want him now? Was there any way to go back?

How long had he been gone?

Truth be told he'd been defeated. Hadn't he? It just wasn't that easy to be ruthless, anymore. Especially, when the one individual he so wanted to have a throw down with was now telling him what to do.

"Just don't do it," he said to this bloke who really looked lost there on the street.

"Do what?" He was about as flaky as Maxxie too.

"Go, somewhere else. Get out while you can. This establishment isn't all that, if you must know, and it doesn't suit you." Tony gave him the look over. "Do you have a name?"

"Jamie."

Tony just smiled. His accent was American. What was the odds of that?

Jared

2009-09-24T10:28:00.002-05:00

Well, there might be a problem. Maxxie didn't want to think it was because it was just Jared.

Not that he was that big in the theater. Not at all boastful. Not like some of those stinking actors who wanted to keep the dancers in their own category.

Actually, Jared was a singer. Damn, amazing, in fact. He'd asked Maxxie to come out a time or two to see his band at a coffee shop. Granted, it wasn't the polluted underground with the rappers and a good dope. He was rather mellow and you know, more of a grownup scene. But he was quite natural and honest. And Maxxie found those two things fascinating about him. Also, he liked to hang around with building stuff. He really was brilliant when it came to fixing up the set. Even more so with the flat. If something were to go wrong, who to call? Jared.

In all honesty, Jared had come through for Maxxie on so many occasions. He couldn't even count the ways how their friendship had somehow tightened.

"You never want to see me," Jared brought up the fact.

"That's not true. I do." Maxxie promised him on one of those little moments when Jared seem to be the only one to know how to fix something in the loo. Granted, it was an awkward situation to have him over in such close quarters where Mr. Clean had done his duty to make the place smell quite disinfected.

"Then why don't you?" Jared sat there in the glaring light on the edge of the bathtub and Maxxie set on the commode lid.

"I'm afraid." Maxxie let out a slight grin.

"Afraid of what?" Jared looked at him so concerned that it almost took Maxxie's breath away.

"Well, I'm waiting on someone to call or at least show up." Maxxie shrugged. "Only it hasn't happened yet. And what if I'm not here if, you know, he shows or something."

"So you're telling me thats the way love works, then?" Jared brought up.

"I guess." Maxxie pressed his lips together tight. It sounded so empty somehow.

"I'm not asking to take you away from whom ever it is you fancy. Its just a show. You look like you need a good time. But you know, if I'm not your cup of tea, its all right. I understand." Jared told him.

Maxxie bit his upper lip thinking, just maybe really Jared might be a certain cup of tea he was missing. How would he know if he didn't'- no, no he couldn't. He had to wait for Tony. He had too. Only, deep down, he wondered if Tony was waiting for him at.

"Its just a show." Maxxie nodded. Just a show. He'd go and hope he got bored out of his skull.

crapper

2009-09-12T15:22:00.003-05:00

Spence was taking Tony all in, but it gave Tony the willies. He guessed. Even if Spence smoked some heavenly shit and let him have some to which helped him make this transition. He supposed.

"Come on, don't be such kiddie." He messed with Tony's hair as if they were together now. "You aren't that innocent." He taunted Tony a bit up in his room. Their room.

Before Tony knew it, Spence was buying him new clothes down at the vintage store. A tough leather jacket. Leather chaps to go with it.

"Then you'll be Johnny Delicious, don't you think?" Spence smiled as if he knew a bit about style. He had the cash. He had the way. It was a good thing. Right?

"I don't want anything of yours." Tony reminded him. Except, he had on the things he'd bought him. It was as if he could be a regular gigolo for him now. Was that it?

"Aw,don't hurt yourself, son, you can't get a bit wicked on me. I know where you monkey lives." Spence laughed and laughed. "So hears the deal. You do me favor. I'll do you. Got it." His wise ass look got to Tony.

He didn't know exactly where he was nor how he got so caught up in it. Sid wasn't not in sight. How in the hell was he gonna get out of this shit.

"Sid. Sid." He thought he got him on his cell, but Sid left a message instead.

"Can't make contact. Gone back for my Cass."

"Shit." Tony was fucked and he knew it. What the hell could he do? Hanging out with the likes of Spence. He knew he was minutes away from being pimped out. Minutes. He dialed Maxxie in the restroom at some pub not far from his home in Bristol. It was the only way to get back to him. Some how.

"Hullo." Damn, If Maxxie didn't sound fab and sexy in one word.

"Maxxie?"

"Tone." His voice sounded desperate then. "What is it? Where in the fuck are you?"

"Some thing has gone wrong." He could barely put the words in a sentence. Maybe the drugs really were doing it for him. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" He heard the pain in Maxxie's voice. "Listen, I got some news about the flat."

"What?" His hearing was going. Maybe the phone.

"Its quite brilliant, if I might say so. And the landlord, our boss, feels so bad for you and your family, and your sister. I see why you have to be with them now. You know, its awful, her being in a deep sleep and all. Its just, I miss you, babe. I honestly do."

Tony chocked on his own flem. He really felt awful about what he'd done.

"You stay as long as you have too. I understand. I'll be waiting for you." Maxxie told him.

Tony felt as if his tears might as well have been blood. His face turned red. He missed him so much, but he wasn't sure he could come back anytime soon.

He heard Maxxie say, "I love you."

Tony slid his lean body down the brick wall of the loo and set there probably in old piss for all he knew. It was true. His life was in the crapper.

over the rainbow

2009-09-07T01:17:00.002-05:00

Surprisingly, Maxxie was falling in love with High School Musical. It was better than nothing. He started out believing, but now it really felt the role was his own. And everyone was so damn helpful. Like really nice and understanding.

Maxxie hadn't felt that in a long time. And he was learning things. Building sets. Painting things. When he wasn't running lines, learning song. It went on and on and it felt as if he had a family now at the theater. And he wouldn't have to leave town. As it was mostly they performed to so many schools in the area. They came to watch the show at the theater. They came to watch them be silly Americans.

Everything was quite wonderful except no word from Tony. Maxxie so tired. Phone calls. His mother kept hanging up on him. Told him to give it up already.

"What do you suppose that means?" He had Sketch to bitch about it to. Of course, she didn't want to hear about Tony either. And he hated having to rely on her so much. Finally, some fellows came around that he worked with came around and said they'd help out at the flat.

It was as if everything was looking up. They had the place fixed up in a day or two. Maxxie had a home to go to instead the disgusting shit hole Tony had started. Not only that, people were interested in the place and as luck would have it, if they did their own work, they could move in at a bargain.

Brilliant, thought Maxxie. Yes, it was brilliant. And downstairs where the shops had been was enough room to put in a dance studio and a sandwich shop. Maxxie had so much to tell Tony but all he could do was leave voice messages.

"When are you coming home, Tone?" Maxxie felt as if he were pleading after awhile, but he didn't give up. He kept up with the phone calls.

show me heaven and I'll meet you there

2009-08-27T08:50:00.004-05:00

Tony awoke in an incruciating pain he'd never felt before. He might never shit again. Or so he thought as he laid in what must have been Spencer's bed. Jesus, he didn't remember a thing. His head felt swollen. Actually, all of him did. It was frightening. He was actually scared. He hadn't been this scared in a long time.

What had happened to him?

Not a stitch on. Nothing. And he sweated so. It was really unbecoming and not at all attractive like the times in his head when he thought so of a voyage like this. It was mindless now. Some mindless self indulgence. That's what the crap this was. Wasting away in Spencer's bed on the floor. A hostel of some sort. Was this how he lived?

Tony took deep breathes. He could hardly stand the stinch. What could he do? Just cry like a baby?

Tony scratched his head and he took the dark green room in. Dirt on the floor. He'd never been in a place so shitty. Except his own. Really, he needed to get that fixed. Winter was coming. Shame, the cat hadn't escaped. Really, Maxxie was so lovely to that horrid creature while he didn't seem to have room for him at all, lately.

Stupid rehearsals. Maxxie dragging his butt down to the bistro to wash the dishes. What the fuck had happened to Maxxie along the way? Now he sorely missed him. Now Tony was with the likes of Spencer, sprawled about the covers, exposing his purple hard on. Really, Tony found it quite disgusting.

They'd done that thing that he'd promised himself would not ever happen. Never. With no one. Perhaps being drugged up while doing it was for the best. Don't know what it would have been like if he hadn't. He guessed. He guessed. Even deep down, he'd always wanted to be the first time with Maxxie. Somehow. Like a Christmas present. Some time in the future. Or maybe something to ring in the new year. You know, before a coment hit the earth and killed them all. Something to do in the last hours of living. Not this. Not with Spencer. Tony squinted in pain, again. What if he got something from Spencer? Then what? Shit, he'd never got back to Maxxie then. It would be all Spencer's damn fault.

He squinted his eyes shut thinking Maxxie would say it was the worst thing he ever did... along with the top ten Maxxie had to remind him with, ever so often. He knew it now. Maxxie liked him the most when he wasn't right in the head. But he was thinking so clearly now. Really, he had to get back to Maxxie before they were finished. They couldn't be finished. Could they?

thinking it over

2009-08-22T01:10:00.004-05:00

Maxxie missed Tony, but not enough to go back to that hell hole they called home. He rested so comfortably at Sketch's place, but not in her bed on her couch.

He had to remember what he had going for him. He was in a show. Granted it was a kiddie's show. A stupid High School Musical, in fact.

"If the kiddies go for you then I'm sure you could show up in a lot more." Sketch had told him. He guessed it was good enough.

Still he was pissed with himself. What was he thinking? Fucking Sketch. Even if it were anal. He was pretty sure it was anal.

Really, had he lost his mind? He should have paid a male prostitute, but he didn't have the cash. And he knew of so many other opportunties he could have had, but he'd been afraid. It felt more like a science expirement to him now. At least he knew she'd only been with Anwar. And it would be their secret thats what it was.

And when he heard from Tony that he was actually home because his sister was on life support, he was in no hurry to get home. Really, he felt as if his luck had ran out on Tony so quickly. And yet his luck had changed just as well. There was the show to do. Really, he had to keep telling himself - that the future looked bright with Sketch around. He just wished he didn't need her help.

can't recall

2009-08-18T02:35:00.004-05:00

"I thing you've lost it, Tony." Sid didn't want to go into the night with him on the hunt for the bloke who had put his sis into this fix. "We could get killed!"

"Nonscense." Tony took Sid's car, his Dad's gift to him. He guessed. Didn't really matter to Tony. There was only one thing on his mind. Spencer.

"Quit the sulking, Sid. I hate it." Tony winced. He had a job to do and he was hell bent on it.

"I'm sorry. I wish I was back in New York City." Sid checked his cell. There was a message from Cassie. "She's got me all confused. I can't do it, Tony. Please! let me out. Please!"

"Fine." They weren't even close to the country club where Spencer usually hung out with the usuals. He'd probably, find Josh where ever he found Spence. Tony pulled over. "GET OUT!"

A lovely help Sid was. Honestly, Tony decided he didn't need Sid anymore. Really, he was extra beggage. He had a mission, and there was no going back. This was it.

So he drove around quite a while, trying to get his nerve up. He'd had dealings with these fellows before. So posh and such wankers. Dirty deal'n wankers. Tony couldn't stop scowling about it. Sending his sister to the hospital again. Wasn't she done with the likes of these lads? Had she not learned anything?

He saw someone on a skateboarder zig-zag the wall near the club. Possibly, it was Spencer. Wasn't he too old for such a sport? He was in college, after-all. Who in the fuck did he think he was? Tony lit a cigarette, got out of the car and walked on.

Soon enough, the skatboarder was back circling him like a vulture.

"Do I know you?" The dark haired bloke's eyes were like diamonds as he scoped out Tony.

"Can't recall." Tony was aloof.

"What do you need?" The skate boarder came to a hault and bounced off his board just to walk over and take a hard look at him.

"Tony Stoneham, in the flesh, where in the fuck have you been?" A smile came to his lips.

"Hullo, Spence." Tony didn't flinch.

"How you been, mate?" Spencer smirked.

"I was never your mate, as I recall. Still fuck'n around with Josh?"

"Josh?" Spencer looked at him as if he couldn't guess.

"You remember." Tony remained even lip.

"Remember?" Spencer half laughed watching Tony.

"I know how you are with my sister."

"Sister?'" Spencer winced. "Is she around?"

"No. She on life-support." Tony flinched slightly.

"Now that's a shame. She's quite a slapper, that lass." Spencer smiled openly. "Not that I'm into that, but just the same, always good doing business with her."

"What are you trying to tell me?" Tony looked him straight in the eye.

"Why nothing, what would I know." Spencer was much closer to his face than Tony remembered.

Spencer Frenched Tony then, leaving him a little present in his mouth.

out for it

2009-08-16T01:44:00.003-05:00

Maxxie found himself back at Sketch spilling his guts out in the wee hours of the morning. It was all about Tony.

"Why is he doing this to me!" He was in a bad way. Leaving him in a shit hole of all places with such a lameo note. It was disgusting.

"I can't stand him, he's a prick." Sketch nodded, giving him a good stiff shot of brandy she kept in her kitchen cupboard. "I never liked him. He's only out for himself, not you, Maxxie. You're better than that."

The alcohol helped a little. Making him a little warm. Maybe happy.

"I dunno what to do." He fought back tears. "What can I do?" Never in a million years, he thought he'd be here with Sketch going on and on about Tony. But Tony had left him in that ramshackled mess they called home.

"Fuck me." She said. It felt like one word to Maxxie. Puzzling. And then it hit him what she meant. NEVER.

"Fuck you? Are you out of your mind!" Maxxie winced.

"Come on. Just this once. You won't have to look at me. I won't look at you. You can imagine it could be anyone. Even Anwar."

"But you're too short to be Anwar," he told her.

"Right, but it would dark."

Maxxie kept shaking his head, no. "It has to be someone very gay. You know."

"I've kissed a girl," Sketch said.

"Really?" Maxxie squinted, finding that very hard to believe.

"Look, if that bastard Tony won't let you fuck him, then fuck me. Think of it as sort of a..a beginners course, or something."

She poured him another brandy. She drank one herself.

It was quiet then as they drank. Maxxie asked for another. This was a lot to absorb. He just couldn't. Could he? She drank another.

"Maybe we'll just, you know, have us a good sleep." Maxxie nodded. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had one with the flat so scrapped.

"That'll do." She took his empty glass then. Hers too and put them in the kitchen. "Come along." She pulled him along down the small hall to her room. He felt he was walking into a tunnel of some kind. No escaping.

He looked at the bed. Really, he hadn't the nerve to do it. Butt fucking. Just like that. He wasn't hard at all.

"What should I do?" She wouldn't look straight at him.

"Just put your face in the pillow." That's what he did with Tony.

He cut the lights then.

It was total darkness. But as his eyes adjusted. He made out her form on the bed. He closed his eyes, imagining Tony. He took a deep breath as he touched his penis. It was a softy.

"Maybe we should be undressed for this." Maxxie sighed.

So she did as he said. Everything off. He took his shirt off and almost stumbled in his pants, just about falling on her.

"Its not going to work." There was no hard on to be had.

"Let me try," she said.

"Try what?" He squinted.

He guessed she meant a hand job. It startled him. A bit of zing came. Her fingers were warm. So different from Tony. Really, it was just peculiar, but it was happening. Maxxie caught himself smiling. Though, he didn't want too. It was the liquor. He decided. Just the liquor. Not her. Never Sketch. Not ever.

Her tongue wedged into the tip of his hard on. It was like magic. No one had ever did that with such precision. She kept quiet, licking him deep. And then she let go. He felt as if she was just getting started.

But then he touched her softeness which irritated him the most. He had to keep thinking Anwar. Anwar. Anwar.

Luckily, her ass was the tightest thing about her. He fingered her ever so slightly. Hoping that was the right place. It had to be. Feeling his way through this.

Maxxie smiled at himself. He was really going to do it. He was fucking someone. It was butt fucking, wasn't it?

crap

2009-08-12T01:36:00.005-05:00

Tony showed up at the hospital so see Effy all in white. She looked pure as an angel.

"What did she do? OD, again?" Tony wanted to know. He shook Sid wanting to know who had anything to do with it.

"I guess."

"Is she still hanging around Spencer?" Tony glared at Sid.

"Look, who knows, he's long gone. You can't catch him." Sid told him.

"What do you know of him?" Tony kept waiting for more answers.

"That, he's not good."

"Can't you tell me something I want to hear!" Tony shoved him away.

"Tony, don't, please, your family has been through enough, already." Sid gritted.

"I want to find him. I want to find the bloke who did this!"

"Tone, it won't do any good. Really." Sid shook his head.

"Well, it'll make me feel better once I fuck his guts out!" Tony was spitting in anger.

out of sorts

2009-08-08T01:24:00.003-05:00

Maxxie got the part. Of course, he had to play "Sharpay's" brother Ryan in High School Musical.

"Shit." Could it get any worse, Maxxie had decided.

"Its a start." Sketch told him. "You have to start somewhere."

"Yeah, I know." He wanted to thank her but couldn't. He wished he could go home and fuck Tony's brains out, but he knew that wouldn't happen, either.

"So will you celebrate?" Sketch walked with him through the plaza. Naturally, he found himself walking her home. He didn't feel he had a home with his place out of sort.

"Dunno." Maxxie shrugged.

"You should." She smiled.

"No, I don't feel up to it."

"I want to be with you, Maxxie." She pleaded with him.

"Um, don't you get that I'm gay. We've been through this before." He squinted, hoping she never touched him. Never.

"I know, but if we did everything - you know - gay-"

"Sketch! What do you not get! NO." Maxxie shivered just thinking about it.

"Think about it?" She called to him as he walked away.

"Believe me, I will never think about it." Didn't she know, she meant nothing to him.

He raced home then just to find a note left on the mattress in the their barren fortress.

Dearest Maxxie,

Gone home for a bit.

toodles.

"Toodles?" Maxxie wadded it up and tossed it toward the trash. The whole place was trashed in fact.

He sat down on the mattress and began to have himself a good long cry.

remembering like the first time

2009-08-05T01:08:00.003-05:00

Tony heard from Sid. He was home.

"Did you leave Cassie?" Tony would be pleased if he did.

"We're on a break." Sid was naturally vague.

"Again?" Tony stomped around on the naked floor of his apartment, smoking cigarettes. Things were great at work. He made tips. Expensive ones. People loved him to be their waiter. He was moving up. Even if it felt like a slow go.

"I guess."

"You should come to London."

"I dunno. It just doesn't feel right."

"Come on, we'll have fun." Tony grinned.

"Did you hear about your sister?" Sid then said.

"My sister?" He forgot he even had one actually. He'd never looked back. That was truth, and now he had Sid to remind him. "What is it?"

"She's in the hospital. Been in a coma a good long while, you know." Sid said he'd been by her side everday.

"Aren't you a dear boy." Tony dared to have any grief about it. "Do you plan on taking care of her? Is that it? Will you fuck her?"

"No."

"Promise." Tony squinted hard. Tony didn't know if he could bare it if his best mate was with his sister.

He got off the cell then with Sid and laid on the bare mattress, finishing up his smoke. It really was looking like shit around here. And he didn't even care.

He bit his bottom lip, thinking of Effy. He reached in his sweat pants and felt his hard on then. He couldn't help to give himself a little rub as he thought of her. Where was Maxxie when he needed him.

far from the maddness

2009-08-01T02:04:00.003-05:00

Maxxie was sure of it now. Tony was mad. Man man. Just maddening. He might be a fucking loon. Well, the loon was fucking him.

"I don't know what to do." He found himself at Sketch's place. It wasn't much, but at least clean and livable. A real working bathroom you piss and poo in which was something he didn't have at the moment.

He felt like shit as it was. Just so out of it. Maybe it was all weed. Could be the pills. Not so much really. But the living conditions were really getting to him.

"About what?" She looked so innocent. Not so much the cow who had it in for anyone who might please him.

"Everything." He might have been at the lowest. It was hard to say. God, how could he even come here. But it was so tidy, and there were fresh flowers. It was fucking beautiful.

"Would you have dinner with me?"

He'd have to think on it.

"There will be vegetables. I'm vegan now." She told him that was the way around here. Everyone did it. Especially where she worked.

"Lovely." But he shot a look at the pictures on the harth above the fake fire place she had. It was a picture of her and Anwar in better times. "But no pictures. I do not want a photo of me anywhere in your flat. Got that." He said a bit hostile.

"Fine."

"Good." He liked having his way for once. "And you'll help me, with this-this musical."

"Of course."

For once things felt normal. This was the last place he thought that would happen.

heat of the moment

2009-07-30T03:41:00.003-05:00

"What would you do if the person you despise the most, comes to you, and tells you they could help you step up your career?" Maxxie wanted Tony's advice in bed after of course, Tony had a go at him.

"Um, dunno." Tony was rather oblivious as he was smoking a cigarette in the moonlight and looking up at a hole in the ceiling where a skylight would go. He could actually see the moon. He felt rather lovely, sinking in sweat and still with a vib of sex setting off him. "I'd have to think about it. Seriously, I suppose. I can't think serious right now, luv." He handed the cigarette over to Maxxie.

"Sketch thinks she can help me," Maxxie said rather quietly.

"Sketch? That miserable cunt from school? Where did you ever find her?" He wondered how long he'd seen her since he'd given him this bit of information.

"She's an assistant to something. I know it couldn't be much. Probably a sham, you know." Maxie rested his head on Tony's chest.

"Probably."

"Its just I'm so sick of this. This vast emptiness of what I thought I'd be doing with myself." Maxxie said quite sadly.

"Then maybe you should take a chance." Tony took a drag off the cigarette. He enjoyed their closeness.

"I could." He sighed. "She told me Anwar hooked up Georgie. Can you believe it."

"Anything is possible." They Frenched then and Maxxie took the cigarette from him and smoked a bit to think.

"Will this rat hole ever get fixed, Tone?" Maxxie looked around then.

"Of course, luv. Its not that bad." Tony winced.

"Its taking forever."

"Its been a few weeks." Tony shook his head. And grabbed the cigarette back to have his turn. Maxxie toyed with his tits.

A smile came to Tony as if he'd just thought of something brilliant. He put out the cigarette on Maxxie's inner thigh near his penis.

Maxxie jerked his leg back in pain. Tony heard his gasp and horrid moans.

"Was it good for you?"

"Shit, no." Maxxie's face clenched. "I'm on fire, you ass!"

Tony put his finger in the burn first to cool it a bit then his mouth covered the burn. Finally, he put it out with his tongue. He felt Maxxie's sighs. It made Tony smile.

"What the fuck are you doing!"

"You are so fuck'n hard." Tony laughed. "Umm..." He sucked him off then.

a little help

2009-07-27T02:33:00.005-05:00

Maxxie was beginning to wonder why he even tried at these auditions. He thought he was the top of his game. He was just as good as any of them.

He did his core exercises every morning. He ran through the park a couple of times a week when given a chance. He worked out every day. And still nothing. It was so depressing. And it wasn't much better with Tony. It was all so one sided. Maxxie had to admit, he was just Tony's boy-toy. But still, he took whatever Tony was giving him. He'd be happy one moment and sad the next.

He knew if Sid did come back, Tony would never tell him what was going on between them. He just knew it. He was hardly even a flat-mate to him at work. Except when, he wanted to chance it in the woman's loo. It was a might nicer place to fuck than what they had at the moment. Little by little, bits of construction was happening. But really, Maxxie thought it would take forever.

Everything seemed to be taking forever. Everything.

And then he found Sketch in the plaza where he generally went for auditions. Naturally, he acted as if he didn't know of her existence, but she caught up to him.

"Don't you want to know what happened to Anwar and me?" She pulled him around to face her.

"No, I don't want to know about you and Anwar." He scowled. "Did you marry him?"

"No." She was her brutal self.

"Anwar left me for Georgie." She said so sullen as if this was all Maxxie's fault.

"Georgie?" Maxxie hadn't meant to smirk. Seriously, it was funny. "How did it happen?"

"He got him drunk and the rest is history." She sadly frowned.

"Sorry." He remained even lipped.

"No, you're not."

"Actually, I'm not. Good for Anwar."

"But your boyfriend fuck'n Anwar."

"So." Maxxie wouldn't let it get to him.

"I thought you secretly wanted my boyfriend." She gave him a swollen frown.

"He was my mate first. He only felt sorry for you." Maxxie shrugged.

"No, he didn't. I satisfied him. Completely." She hugged herself.

"Then why is he with Georgie?"

"Because of you." She glared.

"Why are you even here?" She was the last person he ever expected to meet on the streets of London.

"I'm an assistant." She shrugged.

"To what? Every loo in the park?" Maxxie winced.

"Shut it, far more important than what you have." She remained cross with him.

"I bet."

"I get paid enough."

"Go on."

"There's a musical and I'm helping with the casting." She looked at him as if he might be interested.

"And?" Did she have to make such a production of it, he thought.

"You might be interested." She looked him in the eye.

"Possibly."

"If you give it a try, I could put a good word in for you."

"Why?" He gave her a soured look.

"I would do anything for you, Maxxie. You know I would."

"Anything?" Maxxie bit his bottom lip. He supposed a little help wouldn't hurt.

that's progress

2009-07-23T02:10:00.005-05:00

Tony had created havoc. Actually, it was all in good fun. They demolished the place where they lived.

"Are you sure, we should have waited to be the last?" The renovation couldn't come quick enough for Maxxie.

"Hell, no. We have to live here. Ours should be the first to shine." Tony wasn't backing down. As it was, they'd had plenty to do, knocking all their frustration out on the old place leaving it bare to the bones.

"Its worse than camping." Maxxie wasn't sold on anything really happening. The place was crap, just the creepy inside parts left.

"Its coming." They'd had this conversation a dozen times, and he knew Maxxie had just as much fun as he did to take a sledge hammer to it.

"I dunno." Maxxie didn't feel all so comfortable. "Sly might get away."

"You named that pussy?" Tony wished the cat would scat.

"Yes."

"But he hates me?" Tony was sure of it. When that cat got a chance Tony had bite marks all up and down his arms.

"Thats because he loves me," Maxxie smiled at that. Perhaps the only thing going his way.

Auditions were shit. Work wasn't a whole lot better for him. But they were managing as the weeks wore on.

And then Sid called.

"Well, you little shit, where are you?" Tony could hardly stand it. "Don't tell me you're still across the pond?"

"I can't stay forever, now can I, Tone?" Sid was a little lax on the info.

"What happened?"

"We're together."

"But are you happy?" Tony wanted to know.

"I suppose."

"You don't sound it?" Really, Tony thought he had this one all figured out. "What could have gone wrong?"

"Her lesbian ways."

"Are you fuck'n kidding me?" Tony grinned. "Do you watch?"

"Sometimes." Sid confessed.

"Holy shit, are you fuck'n her?"

"Sometimes."

"You are fuck'n brilliant." Tony laughed.

"I wouldn't go that far." Sid sounded very much himself.

"So will you be back?"

"Yeah, sometime in the future."

"Well, don't come back til you can fuck them both." Tony told him.

"What are you up too?" Sid then questioned him.

"I'm in London." Tony admitted. "You have to be filthy rich to enjoy it, you know."

"You aren't bathing in cash yet?"

"Fuck no. But I'm work'n on it." Tony was all smiles about that.

"So have you heard from Maxxie?"

"Um, yeah." Tony nodded not sure what he should say. "He hasn't exactly got a show yet, but any day. Any day it'll happen for him." He was looking straight at Maxxie when he said it. He grinned then, tugging at Maxxie's belt loop.

"Its good to hear from, you, mate." Tony then said. "Keep in touch, will you, now?" Tony had to let him go. There were after all better things to do even if there home was shit.

"We should really try it in the loo, at work. They even have a couch in the women's loo." He smirked. He bit at Maxxie's bottom lip.

here we go again

2009-07-18T02:53:00.003-05:00

Maxxie easily forgot Georgie. The auditions. That fuck'n dishwashing position. Some how he felt really lucky with Tony's hands. His touch. His lips everywhere. Damn, he was easy to give into. Maxxie couldn't help but bite his bottom lip when Tony's mouth was on his hard cock. Maybe this was enough. This was fantastic.

His hands touched Tony's thick head of hair as he guided him inch by inch where he needed him most.

"I wish you wouldn't do that," Tony looked up at him.

Maxxie was losing a bit of the momentum here.

"Sorry." He nursed him bottom lip then. It was hard to figure out. Weren't they doing great? Maybe they weren't.

Maxxie let go. He guessed Tony was a control freak, after all. But he didn't want to think about that. Not really. Not when he was so close to exploding in Tony's mouth. It was as if he couldn't go back after going this far. A climax busted out of no where. And yet in the end, he felt like shit.

"Why are you like this!" Maxxie squinted turning away from him so suddenly.

"What?" Tony grinned as if he wasn't the one being selfish, not him.

Maxxie was shaking his head and Tony rolled him over on his stomach, and Maxxie felt as if he might be strangled by the pillow as he felt Tony's hot self on top of him. First he edged in with his pinkie, wiggling it about as if to tease him. Then came another finger as if two were delightful. Much better than one. Maxxie sighed as if anytime would be great. But he tensed so suddenly when he was expecting that hard part of Tony. It wasn't. Tony shoved his fist in ass.

Maxxie squinted almost as he jerked up from the pillow. He didn't know what to say. Maybe he wouldn't be able to walk right for days. His whole body tensed. Somehow, Tony slipped his hard on inside. So hard. So hot. It stung Maxxie's senses as he laid his face back down on the pillow.

Maxxie kept picturing what it would be like when he could be inside Tony. He would make him stand up. He would find peculiar positions. Anything that just might make him suffer. And then like a raw avalanche it was coming. All his thoughts mingled as Tony fucked him hard. He knew it now. Tony owned his ass.

what about Sid

2009-07-15T02:20:00.004-05:00

They'd kissed for sometime. So close and inviting and well, dreamy. Tony liked it like that. No real intentions. Because this was the best. No hurry. Just a day together.

And then he thought of Sid. Just like that. Sad eyes, that pathetic thing he wore on his head. God, he hoped he didn't have it on right now. What if he never made it to New York City? And if he did, what if he were lost?

Tony pulled away from Maxxie before he got too comfortable. Perhaps a cigarette would do. Yes, he needed one. Too much was just going on. He had to get this "flipping" going and work. Well, when was he going to have time for all this?

"What's the matter?" Maxxie wanted to know who was practically humping him in his clothes as if it were a practice of some sort for the real deal. His chin on Tony's shoulder as Tony reached for a packet of cigarettes.

"I dunno."

"I'm not-I'm not going to rush you." He promised.

"I know." He sighed lighting the cigarette. "Its not that."

"Its not?" Maxxie sounded a wee bit hurt that it wasn't about the fucking.

"No, its Sid." He let out a smoke ring then, and they watched it expand then disappear. "I haven't heard from him. I thought I would by now. He's my best mate."

"Well, maybe you weren't his." Maxxie took a drag off the cigarette then.

"You think? Then who would it be? You?" Tony nudged toward Maxxie, and he put the cigarette in his mouth.

"I didn't say I'd heard from him, did I?"

"No, but still, you think he would have called," Tony was getting a litte misty eyed. "What if something happened to him?"

"I highly doubt it," Maxxie told him. "He can take care of himself."

"You think he found Cassie?"

"Who knows." Maxxie didn't sound thrilled with the conversation. "Would you have done him?"

"Are you shit'n me?" This humored Tony. He couldn't help but smile. "No. He's not that sexy. He needs all the help he can get. If he lost the glasses, beefed up a bit and got rid of that hairstyle. Um, I dunno. Doubtful."

"But you slept with him." Maxxie's hands went around Tony's underside and took the cigarette out of his mouth to take another drag. They watched their smoke rings collide and giggled then.

"So. Doesn't mean I slipped him my willie, you know." Tony scowled ever so slightly.

"Did he ever see it?"

"My stick?" Tony questioned. "I can't recall. Possibly. I saw his." Tony acknowledge. "It was much bigger than I antispated."

"Sorry, I never got a look." Maxxie kissed him on the cheek then.

"Yeah, well, he might be here instead of me if you had." Tony shrugged.

"Really." That was a laugh to Maxxie who took another drag off the cigarette.

"Well, shall we get naked before I set the bed on fire?" Tony grinned. The cigarette had came to an end.

"That was a right beautiful cigarette. Just what did you put in it?" Maxxie was all smile.

"I'll never tell." Tony put it out. It might have looked so normal to the average eye, but it was a fun smoke.

"Will you sell the rest, you know for a little cash?" Maxxie asked while he pulled off his shirt.

"Those were a gift from my sister. Of course, not." Tony winced as he unbuttoned his pants and pushed himself out of them. Truly, he was happy to see Maxxie in the buff. Just as much as Maxxie was happy to see him uncovered.

just maybe

2009-07-12T01:22:00.004-05:00

"We can't have a row," Tony looked him in the eye. "I won't have it."

"For fuck's sake, I just kissed you." Maxxie squinted. "What's the matter with you?"

"You're so tense." Tony told him.

"You are such a shit, Tony." Maxxie turned away. "What next? You'll tell me my balls are little off, is that it?" Maxxie's eyes lit.

"Jesus, no, Maxxie." Tony scowled.

"What? Are you telling me you're scared."

"Scared of what?" Tony looked at him as if he hadn't a complaint to complain about.

"You know what! Me fuck'n you." Maxxie glared.

Tony couldn't quite muster up a smile about it.

Maxxie rolled his eyes. He did his little dance stumble that wasn't making him happy at all, right now and he rolled up on his side of bed, hugging himself.

He stayed so quietly that way as if he'd been defeated, somehow. As if they could never be equals.

"Well, you aren't actually getting me in the mood, now are you?" Tony whispered in Maxxie's ear.

"What does it matter?" Maxxie said coldly. "You always win. Always."

"Don't say that. Its not true." Tony leaned his back against Maxxie. They were fully clothed.

"You think I'm a loser." Maxxie was in a bad mood.

"You think I'm just a wanker." Tony reminded him.

There was a moment of silence. Maxxie thought he heard Tony crying. He turned around instantly to Tony who was there to meet him.

Maxxie put his fingers around Tony's face. He wiped the tears away with his thumbs.

"And all this time I thought you were just slut," Maxxie told him.

"But what are you?"

Maxxie didn't answer. He Frenched Tony very slowly. Maxxie was beginning to sense this was one of those things you didn't talk about. You let it go where ever it might lead. Just maybe he did have more guts than Tony, after all.

cracks and other problems

2009-07-11T01:40:00.004-05:00

Tony found Maxxie hugging the cat when he came home. The old man had just finished up with the locks. Actually, Tony was rather pleased. But Maxxie looked a bit out of wits.

"Whats the matter?" Tony winced.

"Do you know how long I've had to look at that butt-crack?" Maxxie's swollen expression left Tony bursting in laughter.

"You're kidding me, right?"

"Its disgusting." Maxxie scowled as he rubbed the cat's head.

"You're sure that's it?"

"And you, you, go off and, we'll be in jail, won't we?" Maxxie turned away from the old man's back.

Tony looked at the butt-crack. A far cry from sexiness indeed, but he tried to keep from laughing as he signed the piece of paper. His name.

"What are you doing?" Maxxie saw what he'd done. "Giving yourself away, now are you?"

At-least the locks were done.

"I did a little digging. And I found out the owner who so happens to be our boss at the bistro owns this building. He's glad we're gonna take this place."

"This place? What the fuck do you mean?" Maxxie looked as if they'd bit off more than they could chew.

"Flipping."

"Flipping?" Maxxie glared at him as if he were off his rocker.

"Yeah, that's what they call it. We flip these apartments, get them up to code. Free living space for us." He beamed.

"Yeah, and how ya gonna do that Tone?" Maxxie was Mr. Bright eyes now.

"I'll think of something. Its this challenge, you know. My first real grownup challenge." He was confident enough.

"Meantime?" There was a slight pucker to Maxxie's bottom lip that Tony couldn't resist.

"Meantime, don't you have an audition?" Tony looked at him seriously.

"I need a rest." Maxxie let the cat go then.

"And do I get to be a part of that or are you just going to fall asleep all on your own?" Tony waited for some sort of come on line.

"What?"

"You heard from someone, didn't you?"

"What makes you think that?" Maxxie winced.

"It was Georgie. Good old faithful Georgie. Wasn't it?" Tony came closer to Maxxie.

Maxxie sucked in a breath as if he didn't want to talk about it.

"Why let him bother you? Its over. Its so over with him. You've moved on with me. And its fantastic. Its bloody fantastic, and you know it!" Tony came over Maxxie. So close, he almost kissed him. Almost. But he gave him room then as if he'd have to figure this out on his own. Evidently.

"Yeah, as long as everything is your way." Maxxie looked up at him then.

"What?" Tony winced, shaking his head. "My way?" He turned away wondering what had soured. Had one little text from Georgie changed everything? What did he want?

Maxxie pulled Tony back, and kissed him hard then. He meant it too. Aw, there was that spunk Tony wanted.

let him have it

2009-07-09T02:15:00.003-05:00

All right. So it was fuck'n glorious with Tony, but Maxxie wasn't sure if he could even admit it to himself right away. After all, did this mean Maxxie was just a giver, and Tony would always be a taker. Maybe Tony hadn't changed at all.

Tony was all grins this morning. Satisfied with himself, no doubt, and Maxxie was a bit skeptical. Maxxie wished he didn't like it so much. God, he wish he didn't, but really he did.

He waited for the man who would change the locks, wondering what Tony would do to perserve the place for them. He could be cut-throat and ruthless. Not even a damn coma could change Tony completely, or at least Maxxie was beginning to think. What had he done? Gone off with Tony like this. Tony was a god damn control freak, now wasn't he?

Maxxie lounged around on the bed trying to not think how it smelled of he and Tony. Together. But it made him smile. He looked through his messages finally on his cell. 27 messages from Georgie!

"Shit." He said under his breath. He hadn't expected so many. Really, the boy fuck'n adored him and Maxxie felt like shit for leaving him at the bus station like that. What had he been thinking?

WH R U?

???

FK CM ON

WAIT'N

The texts went on and on. George's pleas really meant so little to him right now.

He wondered how Effy had fared when she came back and saw them gone. What if she didn't come back? What if she was the one who drowned herself in the bathtub?

No. No. It couldn't have happened. He tossed his cell to the edge of the bed and rested one arm behind his head as he reached for his hardon in his sweats. He felt a little foolish. Thinking of Effy, drowned in the tub. God he was so hard? What had come over him?

Was it the fact that he'd saved Tony from such destruction? And now he had a boner thinking his sister had took his place. Did he just hate her that much? What was his problem?

He worked himself silly thinking how it would be when he got his turn with Tony. He needed a turn too. Just couldn't be a fuck'n giver could he? He didn't want it like that. They were equal. They had to be equal in this. Totally.

Just then a knock came to the door. Shit. He's worked himself in a lather.

He supposed it was the locksmith. Maxxie just wasn't ready to get the door yet.

make it so

2009-07-06T03:50:00.000-05:00

Tony couldn't help but be elated. Yet, he hated himself too. He always wanted to be the one in control. He just couldn't help himself to be that way.

Yet, there was a happiness that ran deep through his veins. He was the only one. The only one Maxxie had been with. Now he just had to show him he was worth it. Really worth it. He didn't get an inkling of sleep the rest of the night as his thoughts soon turned to how he'd make this place their own.

This was much more involved than just fuck'n your life away. He'd get new locks. Find the proper way of tending to this flat. Of course, that might mean hacking in to certain places to put his name on what could be his.

"What are you going to do?" Maxxie said early the next morning who didn't look to be in any hurry to get out of bed.

"Take care of a few things. That's all." Tony shrugged who was already dressed.

"Like how?"

"A trip to the library for starters." Tony smiled.

"Library?" Maxxie didn't get it. "Why on earth would you go there?"

"I need a computer." Tony said brightly. "You can wait for the bloke to get here, to take care of the locks."

"Must I?"

"Look, I'll take care of the power. Wash up. I'll be back before you know it." His brain was already spinning where to go and find what he needed to become the proprietor of this place. He handed over a credit card to Maxxie.

"Use this, and remember, don't sign your name, just Reggie Smith." Tony told him. Maxxie just nodded as if Tony was giving him something to do against his will.

"Tone, are you sure about this?" Maxxie winced.

"Its never been better. Amazing what a good fuck can do for you. I know what to do now." Tony bit his bottom lip to keep from exposing to much of a dazzling smile. He breathed Maxxie in with a kiss then.

"What's that?" Maxxie squinted after Tony Frenched him.

"You aren't to worry about it," Tony grinned. "Leave it to me, will you?" He put his fingers through Maxxie's hair then., making it stand on ends.

Maxxie just nodded. Tony Frenched Maxxie again, not wanting to leave him, but the faster he got this into action, the better their lives would be.

the galaxy in your room

2009-07-02T02:59:00.003-05:00

Maxxie thought it might have happened already. The sex. It was good in a very bad way. He wanted it, but he didn't.

And when Tony pulled his finger out, Maxxie thought he might be bleeding to death. Maxxie laid wide-eyed on his stomach now. Not sure if he was in still in the state of pleasure or pain. He almost got up.

"I haven't even started." Tony told him.

Maxxie blinked. He felt like an idiot now. He nodded. He wouldn't dare say "Oh". But he felt like a fool. Tony pushed down on his him. His warm skin across Maxxie's back. It felt like a massage of some sort. A full body massage. Maxxie felt so warm and cozy now. A lull of some sort.

Tony kissed his neck. His shoulder. His hard penis edging between Maxxie's buttock.

"God, you're so fuck'n lovely." Tony laughed. "I feel so rock hard for you, babe. I want to fuck you all night."

"All right," Maxxie has heard enough. Was that suppose to be poetic? "Just get on with it, will you."

A part of Maxxie gripped the strength he had and yet as Tony pushed in full throttle...he felt just as weak too. It felt like a sledge hammer coming at him. His skin pricked up as goosebumps popped up under the sweat. He wasn't sure if he was in a shiver or a shatter orgasm taking over him as Tony squeezed in between his buttocks, arching his back, making all sorts of painful grunts.

Maxxie didn't watch. Actually, he couldn't from this angle. He decided to close his eyes so he could sense his body coming alive, taking in Tony. Finally he felt himself shiver and shake and Tony's came down on his back. He felt Tony quiver too. So relaxed now as he sucked at Maxxie's shoulder, as if he was waiting for it to come back so they could ride it out, again.

in the heat of the night

2009-07-01T11:31:00.000-05:00

"Are you sure I wouldn't be taking advantage of you?" Tony pulled away, looking at Maxxie so dreamily.

"I thought I was taking advantage of you." Maxxie bit his bottom lip, rubbing Tony's shoulder blade just a little.

Tony watched him, hesitating just a bit, but he didn't ask permission as he unbuttoned Maxxie's pants. He definitely didn't want to break the mood. He knew Maxxie was just as hard as he was.

It didn't take long to be undressed and basking in the candle light. They kissed, each touch made Tony want Maxxie more, but he thought he'd see what Maxxie would prefer as he kissed Tony's chest while he took to his hard on with his finger tips.

Tony shut his eyes tight. He could hardly wait as he French Maxxie. Maxxie finally turned as if he were ready for the envitable. Naturally Tony wasn't nervous at all as he kissed Maxxie's shoulders, his sweet arse. Tony couldn't help from smiling as his finger tips grazed the curves of his fine buttock muscles and pried slowly where the hot spot pulsed. He pushed in deep. Maxxie resisted first as if he'd hit a nerve. He waited for Maxxie to relax. Perhaps he should have been completely liquoured up.

Tony breathed into Maxxie's ear.

"I want you completely sexed up," he whispered.

Maxxie smiled.

"You're gaying up." His laugh was light.

Tony wiggled his finger. Maxxie relaxed. Tony slightly pulled back slowly as if he were finish and yet his finger pushed back in hard. Further this time. Maxxie tensed immediately.

"Its all right," Tony whispered. "I can stop if you want."

"No." Maxxie whispered back.

"We don't have to whisper," Tony smiled, yet he was.

Maxxie smiled with a laugh deep in side. He was letting go of apprehensions now. Tony could tell by the tip of his finger. It was now or never.

all I want

2009-06-27T22:05:00.001-05:00

Thankfully, the black and white tuxedo cat was friendly and got a good head rub from Maxxie.

"You know I'd rather you be doing that to me than that cat." Tony told Maxxie as he opened the bottle of wine with a cork screw he'd stolen from the bistro.

"Tone, you know there is enough of me to go around," Maxxie smiled so genuinely. He did love listening to the cat purr on his stomach as he laid on the mattress.

"Seriously, we could really make over the place." Tony looked about the shadows. Only a candle burned on the counter in the kitchen. Naturally, he took a big gulp of red wine first then handed it to Maxxie, who set up then to take a long drink too. It stung his tongue and bit and burned down his throat, but he could handle it. The wine was amazing.

"How are you feeling?" Tony took off Maxxie's shoes and socks too.

Maxxie gave him a playful squint. He'd been wanting to do that for ages. His feet were so tired and his legs ached. He thought he knew what aches and pains were until now.

"Tone, do you think it was a mistake?" Maxxie said as Tony started to rub his feet. " Taking off like this? Really, its not the best of circumstances."

"Nonsense." Tony looked him straight in the eye. "We just got here. Some thing will come. You just keep at it. All right?"

There was something sensuous about the foot rub. Tony had Maxxie's foot between Tony's legs. Maxxie's heel touched Tony's crotch in his kakis. Maxxie couldn't help but smile as he drank at the wine. He closed his eyes wishing his lips were on Tony's.

But Tony did his other foot too. It was if Tony was only teasing him. Well, he did a grand job. Maxxie was getting drunk.

Tony finally took the bottle, drank up and put it on the kitchen counter then as he tossed his shirt away and came around to Maxxie's back and tugged his t-shirt off too. He rubbed Maxxie's shoulders then. Their skin touching. Maxxie closed his eyes savoring Tony's back rub. And then he felt Tony's hands come around him and touch his tits as he kissed his neck and his shoulder.

Maxxie turned and kissed Tony's mouth so slowly, then so openly and their tongues met and they kissed so softly, and Maxxie was eager to find Tony's hard on tucked away in his pants He pushed his fingers in as he kept kissing Tony. Really Maxxie felt so elated for a new beginning. Getting in a show was the last thing on his mind now. All he wanted was Tony.

its in the bag

2009-06-24T01:45:00.004-05:00

Tony got his second wind. He could hardly wait to finish up here and head home with Maxxie.

He rolled the specials off his tongue. He smiled so genuinely and so intelligently. You would have thought he was the chef who had inspired these dishes. He made it all sound so delish, and he pushed the soups that needed to go. In fact, he even thought he was splendid.

Of course, it didn't hurt to have Maxxie on his mind. And some how he could have been thinking of Maxxie's bum but he could make chicken sound so succulent. He thought the night might never be over.

"Are we done yet?" He snapped. Maxxie seemed to be the only one there getting dishes in the washer. Tony helped him with the last of it.

Finally he shown Maxxie the bottle of red wine the owner had given him.

"How on earth do you manage it?" Maxxie carried the bottle on the walk home in the dead of night.

"Quite simple actually, I just tell them what they want to hear, and it comes rather natural, after that." Tony was full of energy. He put his arm around Maxxie and grabbed the wine just to insure that it wouldn't be dropped. He was so ready to enjoy it with Maxxie.

Tony danced up the steps to the flat. All eager for their party. Just then, he saw the door was cracked open.

"Bugger!" Tony whispered. "We've visitor." He was none too pleased to that fact. "I thought you might have gotten new locks, mate."

"Really, Tony, I'm not a handy man." Maxxie told him.

Tony cauciously kicked the door open. Ready for anything. Only a cat's cry was heard instead.

"Interesting." Tony looked at Maxxie. "Just what we need. A cat."

if that's not enough

2009-06-21T22:23:00.003-05:00

Maxxie found the boarding house, but it looked rather cynical to him for some reason. Couldn't exactly put his finger on it. But the old woman who ran the place was so prim and proper that Maxxie could barely ask what rooms were available. Her voice was shrill too, and she made him scared stiff. Besides that there were all these girls prancing around doing ballet and such that he wondered if he and Tony would be the only blokes around. He wasn't sure if Tony could take it. What if he couldn't help, but love all the attention and he'd make an arse of himself?

Maxxie went back to the flat they'd squatted in the night before and swept it out. He was shocked to find there was running water. After a good scrubbing in the bathroom with some cleaning products he got at the shops and some pin stripped sheets he got at a second hand place, it looked so much more cozy now. Fresh pillows. It looked good enough to sleep there now.

Maxxie smiled with satisfaction. But it didn't last long. His tired feet had to get down to the bistro and get to the kitchen to clean up there. Really, he hated to give up the idea that he might not make it in the shows. Why on earth, couldn't he? He was just as good and better too, than some of them who made the cut. What was keeping him back?

He pondered over this in silence in the hot steamy kitchen. Really, he didn't want to think how much sleep he might need. He was so tired, but he went on with the scrubbing. He barely noticed when Tony came up from behind him and slid some of his tips in his back pocket.

"So how's the room?" Tony's plush lip flashed a smile.

"I didn't get it." Maxxie winced.

"What?" Tony didn't look that let down.

"But I worked on the flat a bit, you know. I think its live-able." Maxxie nodded.

"Yeah, I thought that all along," Tony grinned. "Glad you're with me on that one." Tony almost winked.

He had to get back to his station.

"Service with a smile, you know." He smirked then and went off to wait on another table.

moving forward

2009-06-19T13:30:00.004-05:00

Tony was determained to be working before the day was through. He'd talked to the manager the day before at the bistro for quite a bit. Chatted him up so. Flirted even and well, it sounded as if it was for his taking.

"You might be more handy if you sucked me off," The fellow smirked as if it were some other deal they had made.

"Why would I? Really, I can suck off who ever I damn well please, and believe me, it won't be you." Tony gave him an arrogant glare right back. No use groveling. He was determained right then if he got on he'd figure away to have that idiot's job. How dare he think he needed that kind of pity.

Thankfully the owner caught the manager's action and told Tony he had the job. Even if it were washing dishes. Tony didn't give the college guy a look back. He would show them he was worth their while. It was a dangerous world, now wasn't it? He just hoped this would be Maxxie's lucky break. Naturally, it wasn't.

Maxxie met him at the bistro for a late lunch. They dined on some scraps that were about to be thrown out, a lassanga that hadn't came out perfectly and plenty of hearty bread and butter.

"I don't know what to do." Maxxie didn't have much of an appetite though.

"You keep trying, mate." Tony looked at him, wanting so much to touch him. He hated to see him so sad.

"Is this the lad you mentioned for the waiter job?" The owner gave him a look over.

"Yeah." Tony tried his best to get Maxxie to smile, but he wouldn't.

"He's a right downer, now isn't he?" The old man put his hands on his hips and looked Tony over. "Why don't you do it tonight?"

"All right." Tony thought it was the least he could do. He'd washed up the lunch dishes. "Fair enough."

"And he can do the dishes." The old man looked at Maxxie as if he might be too pretty for that too.

Maxxie just nodded. The old man walked away.

Tony lifted Maxxie's chin up with his index finger. Tony looked him in the eye. Before he knew it, he was kissing Maxxie.

"Will you look in on a room for us then?" he said after awhile to Maxxie even though Tony would have rather set up as a squarter in the room they'd had the night before. Perhaps the fucking couldn't wait at all.

a clean slate

2009-06-16T23:10:00.002-05:00

Tony had caught him off guard. Maxxie wasn't sure how he was suppose to act now. It felt odd.

He guessed it would have came out sooner or later. Maybe it would have just happened, and he wouldn't have to know. But now it felt like Tony had one up on him, perhaps.

"Jesus, you know its not like that." Tony walked with him back to places he'd gone before to get his auditions. "I always wanted you to be my first and well, now its even better. I can be your first too."

Maxxie felt like fuming about it now. This was not going to help his day. He needed to be in good form through and through if he was going to make it. And he was. He had to believe it.

Now, he didn't know what to think. He just felt sad.

"Please, Maxxie, you have to know its better this way. It is. Its a good thing. And you know it is." Tony had his arm around Maxxie as they walked. He pulled Maxxie's chin toward him. "You'll do your best, aye." He looked into Maxxie's sad eyes.

They were at the corner where the dancers were walking in to get their numbers. Tony pulled him into the alley then and leaned into Maxxie against the wall and pressed himself on Maxxie.

He smiled at him as his hand pressed inside Maxxie's pants so he could toy with him just a little.

"You know how much I want you, and you know you want me bad. Just dance your fuck'n heart out." Tony pushed his tongue into Maxxie's mouth wanting to see just how long this kiss could last as his fingers wrapped around Maxxie's hard on.

Naturally, Maxxie gave in. He was so sure Tony would have gone down on him if he'd given him a chance and a bit of him wanted him too, but there was an audition.

"I gotta go," Maxxie could barely whisper.

"You can do it. I believe in you, honestly, I do." Tony looked him in the eye and finally let go. "Come around to the bistro when your done."

Maxxie just nodded and was on his way, but the fact of the matter he didn't want to take his eyes off Tony.

teach me how to swim

2009-06-13T02:39:00.003-05:00

Tony loved it. His expectations were a level playing field now. Perhaps he really had more experience than Maxxie, after all. All right, he'd never fucked anyone in the arse but Michelle, but that was different. Usually, drugs and alcohol were involved, and well, how could he quite remember it, exactly. And this definitely wasn't the time to refer to it. As it was, this was curiously about to kill him. He wanted to do it. Now.

"Just- No." Maxxie was obviously turned off since his secret was out.

"Not even with Georgie?" He thought that was possibly a full fledge romance. Wasn't it?

"We had expectations," Maxxie said not even sounding like the Maxxie he knew.

"Expectations? What the fuck does that mean?" Tony shot him a look.

"It means, we were waiting for that moment." Maxxie scowled as if it were just too awful to talk about.

"What moment?" Just how sex charged did you have to be for the moment, Tony wondered.

"I-I wanted to be in the shows, and once I got one then-"

"Jesus, that sounds as if you were just putting it off because I don't think there was any-um real chemistry there, after all, mate." Tony told him.

"We had chemistry."

"Yeah, like a lab partner," Tony sighed. "I'm thankful it didn't happen."

"Yeah, right, and you're just some fuck'n bunny, aren't you?" Maxxie looked at him as if he felt so stupid now.

"No." Tony scowled. "Can't you see how much you mean to me? Isn't it obvious?"

"I dunno." Maxxie's upset face left Tony wishing he hadn't brought it up. He didn't want to make it a big deal. But it was. It just made things so much more genuine with Maxxie.

Tony put his arm around Maxxie, kissed his cheek. "We'll do things your way, all right." Tony sighed. "How about we check out that boarding house?" Even though, he really liked this place. There was a raw freedom here. Somehow, he'd make a home out of it, yet. Just had to think on it.

"It really was beautiful last night," Maxxie said.

Tony Frenched him to let him know he thought so too. Things were sweet again. Maybe, it was possible to change Maxxie's mind. Tony just couldn't help himself.

navigation

2009-06-11T08:02:00.003-05:00

Maxxie woke to the startling sunlight. He winced. Really the place was a wreck of some sort. And he was alone.

Where in the hell had Tony gone? He didn't want to be alone here. What if some addict of some kind came along and abused him? Anything could happen. Bad, he thought, not good. What possibly good could come along? As of yet, no call backs. What if he never got one?

Bugger!

When he said it, it echoed through the flat. What the fuck was he doing here?

So it would be nice to just have some free time with Tony. Have some fuck'n fun then go home. Really, how about it? But it was his future. Why was it all so difficult to have it all? As he got dressed, he knew he should have came alone. Really, this was a lonely road. And if you wanted to stay fuck'n gorgeous you had to work for it, and the rest would come later. Wouldn't it?

Just then the front door cracked open. Maxxie was expecting the worst, but it was Tony with breakfast, just some take-away from MacDonalds, What you needed to get a good start in the morning.

They downed the egg sandwiches immediately and finished with the hash browns as if they were a figment of the imagination. One of the sandwiches really didn't hit the spot. Tony dug in the sack and gave Maxxie a sausage and biscuit.

"I really shouldn't." Maxxie said.

"Yes, you should." Tony told him. "You have to keep up your strength."

So he ate.

"You know, I really am the hunter and you're the gather," Tony then remarked as Maxxie sipped flaming hot black coffee.

"What is that suppose to mean?" Maxxie winced.

"It sounds just as it means," Tony glared at Maxxie. "I found us jobs."

"Jobs?" Was he serious? "How?"

"There is a bistro around the corner, and they need a dishwasher and a waiter."

"I hope I'm the dishwater."

"Bloody, hell no." Tony winced. "The whole point is to get people to look at you."

"What?" Maxxie gave him a strange look. "Pimp myself out? Is that what you're saying?"

"No, not exactly, but you need some financial backing, now don't you? Maybe getting an audition isn't all it takes. Newtworking, mate. That's where its at." Tony told him.

"Meanwhile?"

"Fuck'n each other would definitely be in order." Tony sounded as if it was the key ingredient to any diet.

"About that?" Did he really think last night was all there was to it?

"What about it?" He seriously looked into Maxxie's eyes.

"I dunno." Maxxie flinched.

Suddenly, a grin came to Tony.

"Jesus! You're a fuck'n gay virgin, aren't you?" He seemed to find such a delight in it. Maxxie festered a frown then. Honestly, did they have to discuss this now?

and then

2009-06-08T03:24:00.004-05:00

What the hell was Maxxie's problem, thought Tony. What sort of conditions had to be prepared for a one night nighter with him?

Maxxie made them stop what they were doing and shake the dust out of the old mattress.

"Its really disgusting, don't you think?" Maxxie scowled.

"I don't want to think about the conditions. I want you, Maxxie." Wasn't that enough?

"I want you too. I do, Tony, but really I can't have you in a bed of dust. It would be impossible." He assured him as he beat the dust out of the mattress with his hand.

"I want to get naked and do it." Especially before the candle burned out.

"You're always in a hurry," Maxxied sighed. "Really, if you take the time, its much more, well, satisfying. Trust me on this."

"Fine." Tony found himself winceing. He really just wanted to get on with this. Couldn't he see this was what he wanted.

"OK." Maxxie unzipped his pants then and stood there.

"Really." Tony smirked. Immediately, investigating what had perked up behind those briefs of Maxxie's, just waiting for him. It was so alive and beautiful. He couldn't wait to touch it. Maxxie kissed him softly as Tony played with Maxxie's hard on that was practically about to melt. But Maxxie wouldn't let got of his mouth until they manuvered on the mattress. Maxxie kicked off his pants and shucked Tony's shirt, touching his fine abs and kissing his tits.

Finally, Maxxie let Tony take in his hot sex with his mouth. It was devine, and it made Tony hard all over again. A sex spasm of some sort shot right through his core. Was going down on Maxxie enough? There had to be so much more as he felt Maxxie's fingers in his hair. Then he heard Maxxie's sweet moans, and it was so satisfying. Tony couldn't help but smile. He could do it right, after all.

a little visit

2009-06-06T08:52:00.004-05:00

It was getting late, or so Maxxie suspected. Still no call back. He checked his messages. It was frustrating. Completely. He was trying not to let it get the best of him.

"Really, Maxxie couldn't you have gayed up someone to find us a place to crash tonight." Tony was just about out of cigarettes.

Maxxie tried not to give away his annoyance about it as he nursed his bottom lip. They walked the streets. It felt like they'd been miles on their feet.

"You said you wanted us to find our own place?" He was puzzled.

"Definitely, some day, but not today. You could be chummy for once." He scowled a bit.

"Chummy?" Maxxie winced. He looked up then and found a flyer flung to a window shop that was closed. It was about a boarding house, a summer special was going on for students and dancers. "There is a God, after all." He squinted to read the information on it. The rent was cheap.

"Or we could crash here." Tony jimmed the door to the upstairs.

"What are you doing?" Maxxie frowned.

"Finding us place for the night," Tony turned to him pulling him into the pitch black stairwell. He lit his lighter then, and they made their way up the stairs to the flat up above the shop.

"Really, Tony, we have the cash." Maxxie was reluctant and a bit afraid to crash the premises.

"Yeah, but for how long, mate? You've got me to think ahead, now don't you?"

The flat was locked up tight but Tony managed to jimmy the door with his Dad's credit card. It looked as if it had been quite a while since anyone had lived there. Dusty, too. Not a thing to eat.

"What do you think?" He then asked as he lit a candle. There was no power, of course.

"Lovely, Tony, just lovely." Maxxie smiled thinking this better not leave them in the slammer. He might never get in the shows now.

"It'll be like camping," Tony promised. "Except inside."

"Yeah, inside camping." Maxxie walked around the creaking floors. It was ghastly old. He looked at the mattress on the floor of the bedroom overlooking the street. Not even a pillow in sight. He still wasn't sure if he liked the place. It felt a bit cold and scary. He'd never felt this kind of alone in his life.

And then Tony's lips met his. Tony's fingers came around his head and they crashed on the mattress leaving a cloud of dust in the air. It didn't bother Tony a bit.

"See, we have each other, and that's all we need, isn't it?" Tony told him.

Maxxie coughed a bit. "Right." He choked.

This really was the barest of essentials, but Tony was definitely moving on as his hand slipped under Maxxie's shirt, kissing him fierce. Maxxie so needed him to slow down. Really, they had all night, didn't they?

eat, drink and wait to be merry

2009-06-04T02:22:00.005-05:00

Tony looked at his watch while he waited for Maxxie to do his little routine. It was So you think you can dance, Tony supposed. Really, it felt horrible wondering where they'd sleep tonight. Hopefully, a hotel. They deserved as much. It would be nice to get to know each other properly, he thought. No interruptions from sisters or whomever. Couldn't they have had atleast a bit of a honeymoon before this.

He was hungry too. How did Maxxie do it?

Finally, he went on the street and bummed a cigarette off a crying girl who said she was shit.

Tony didn't listen. He smoked his cigarette as if he was having sex with it. Really, it was quite a sensation. It gave him a bit of a buzz of course, it wasn't the intoxicating kind. When he came back in, he found Maxxie jumping about, smiling like an idiot.

"Did you see it! Did you see what I could do?" He grabbed Tony's shouder.

"Of course, it was brilliant." He improvised as if Maxxie was the best dancer in the city. "Now what?"

"I wait and see," Maxxie shrugged.

"Could we have lunch?"

"If you want," Maxxie remained even lipped. "You eat, I'll watch."

"No, you just danced your heart out, mate. You're eating." Tony glared at him.

"Not that much, I can't-"

"Fine, we'll find us a nice salad bar, would that cut it, mate?" Of course, Tony had a thick juicy steak in mind, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. They'd have to live plenty meager from now on.

They passed fancy restraunts. It was an awful long way to find a small out of the way diner. They waited at the counter for the soup and sandwich special.

"Have you been networking?" Tony looked at Maxxie as if he should have a place lined up for them to stay.

"Not exactly, these people aren't as friendly as I imagined." Maxxie looked at him quite sad.

"See, I knew it. I knew we'd get here and nothing." Tony shrugged. He drank at his cola. Maxxie had nothing to add.

"Can we at least stay some place half way decent tonight?" Tony wanted to know.

"Of course." Maxxie nodded as he nursed his unsweetened tea.

A sly smile perked Tony up and so did the tuna sandwich with the tomato soup.

onward

2009-06-02T01:39:00.005-05:00

By the time they reached the streets of London it was daylight.

"What the fuck are we here for, actually?" Tony found the place stifling. He hadn't felt this much panic in quite a while.

"You know I want to be in the shows. I must be here." Maxxie pressed his lips together and glared back at Tony seriously as if this was no time to be a chicken shit.

"Right?" Tony suddenly didn't know if he could actually get by on love, or was that lust. He hadn't decided precisely. "Where are we going?"

"We just need to get situated and once we do that, things will take off." His little smile had a way of making everything so simple.

"And," Tony twitched a bit. "How do we do that?"

"Come on, nothing will come to us if we just stand here on the street." Maxxie grabbed Tony's hand and off they went strolling along as if they'd get by somehow.

"Where shall we go?"

"To an audition." Maxxie shrugged.

"An audition! Are you mad?" For starters, Tony was starving and he hadn't had his tea.

"Come on," Maxxie marched onward to the theater district.

"What am I to do while you're on this expedition of yours?" Tony glared at Maxxie.

"Keep me company, all right." Maxxie glared back.

Tony just nodded. Evidently, it was Maxxie's time to shine.

on board

2009-05-30T01:18:00.005-05:00

They made their way to the bus station. Naturally, Maxxie didn't have much to take.

"We'll get what we need once we get there," Maxxie promised. Honestly, all they needed were each other. Maxxie found them a seat, and it was deep into the night. They could sleep their way there.

"I wish we could have showered before we left," Tony was a bit blue.

"You know if we had, we'd still be there not here and really, we need to do this before you think about it too much." Maxxie winced.

"I don't think that much." Tony shook his head.

"Right," Maxxie sighed looking around and finally decided he'd hold Tony hand. Just as a test, perhaps.

"Really, is that all you've got?" Tony gave him a glare. He touched Maxxie's cheek then and gave him a really lovely long kiss on the mouth with tongue as if it were a dare.

"Then you're not afraid?" Maxxie sweetly smiled.

"No." No expression at all from Tony. Just his serious self.

"Promise, you won't start caculating mayhem by the time we get there."

That made Tony almost laugh.

"Don't underestimate me." Tony almost winked.

"How could I?"

They cuddled then setting back for the long ride.

"Will you miss home?" Maxxie wanted to know.

"Not if I can help it." Tony found what he was looking for in Maxxie's gray Kakis. Maxxie closed his eyes so gently then and found Tony's lips. It was like a new drug. They couldn't get enough of each other.

a dream come true

2009-05-26T01:59:00.005-05:00

Tony looked at Effy so coldly. Why did she have to be so intense? Didn't she know she was the one who made him feel so fucked up as it was? Did she care? Or did she just get off on this.

There was no denying it. He had feelings for her. But they were good. Really they were. It was never more than a finger fuck with her. They'd get as close as they could. And it was fierce too. Every night, in fact. Or so it seemed. She had her bouts of wanting him. And there were times he avoided her like the plague, and yet, it would happen. She would come to his bed. Wait for him, play with him until he was so hard that it made her giggle, and she loved taunting him. She loved the fact that she could do this to him, and he knew she felt just as electric as he did.

He felt her sex on his finger, and he'd pushed as much as she'd throbbed, and he'd sent her into so many orgasm that it had elated him so until he felt horrible the next day. Promising, he'd never do it again. She promised they'd play it safe. She'd gotten the condoms. It wasn't really that objectionable, now was it?

But he'd told her he wouldn't have it any other way than just a finger fuck. She'd have to settle for what it was. But was she ever satisfied?

"Just leave me alone, Effy." He looked at her grimly thinking she would be the death of him.

"But I want to see you happy," She was so senuous when she smiled. "And I think its dead romantic that you have each other." She pulled some cash out of her bra then and handed it over. "Its on me," she nodded. "Take the next bus out of here, Tony. There's a enough for you and Maxxie to make a new start. I promise I'll never tell." She bit her bottom lip and tossed the cash on the bed.

"I think I'll draw myself a bath. Don't be here when I come back." She left then.

Tony looked at Maxxie even lipped. Maxxie started to laugh.

"She's such a slut." Maxxie told him.

Tony finally smiled as he picked up the cash. Yeah, it was fine start of something.

in the corner

2009-05-25T04:30:00.002-05:00

"Dead romantic," Effy smirked.

Why was she always there at the most unexpected moments. Maxxie felt a bit shy then. Perhaps frightened. Perhaps she'd expose what they'd done not so long ago. Really, it hadn't been that big of deal, now had it? He'd pleasured her for a few pills. Not much. Really, it disgusted him now how he'd had to be in her room in the wee morning hours just to find out he hadn't enough cash to fit the bill, evidently and so he'd done as she'd asked. Licked her clean.

He winced then thinking of that little laugh of hers. Truly, she was a she devil. Could she just let that go? Really, she wasn't at her best unless she was filled up on drugs. He'd only done so because...because he'd needed a few pills to get through the bad times. Times were not so bad now. Didn't she know he felt nothing for her?Her little laugh made him ill now.

"Well, go on," Effy smirked more, her hair all wild and she looked bitter. "I want to watch." She licked her lips then and waited.

Maxxie felt uncomfortable then. A slight ache sliced through him. Was she serious.

"Tell me she's not serious?" He looked up at Tony.

"Oh, she's serious." Tony didn't take his eyes off his sister.

unwind

2009-05-24T05:04:00.001-05:00

Tony had placed himself in his quietness. Still unsure if he were dreaming or if were true. He felt Maxxie's hand gliding under his arms, resting around his chest. He looked down at his fine fingers. It was a comfort.

He wasn't sure to laugh or cry. And he yearned for Maxxie's warmth. Tony had been so cold. So certain it had come to an end with Michelle. He had to let her go. She was going away. She didn't need him now. He was beginning to think that she never needed him, actually.

Tony gently shut his eyes. His dark lashes fluttered. He'd never felt so hard for anyone. A slight smile slipped. It was nice. More than just quaint. Something happy came from the inside, and he wanted to see where it might go, and he turned to Maxxie and kissed him sadly then as if Maxxie might be the only one to save him.

Maxxie Frenched kissed him back to let him know exactly how it might be if they were together, and as Maxxie's fingers investigated Tony's hard on, Tony let himself not think about the future but the here and now.

Tony touched Maxxie's hard on too and the kissing drove on, fierce and heavy, thick with each other's sweat. Only Maxxie made him wait. He pushed Tony back as he kissed his chest, taking in his tits, letting him know exactly how he felt about him.

Tony took a deep breath wondering what would come next. He was after all a stone for Maxxie, and Maxxie didn't let that go unnoticed. He took that in, as well. His tongue so warm and inviting. His mouth not too tight, yet sweet with cool kisses lingering which after a bit, quaked through Tony's core. It was bliss, and Maxie was only happy to hear his little moans of delight.

But soon the moment ended abruptly, when he saw Effy watching out of the corner of his eye.

rewind

2009-05-23T09:45:00.001-05:00

"Suppose, I told you I thought it was all my fault," Maxxie somehow had to wake Tony up before it was too late. Before the inevitable, before he went to the bathroom. Before he did himself in. "I liked it." Plain and simple.

It felt like the most important conversation of his life. Tony needed to know.

"I know you remember," Maxxie smiled as if they should rewind. Start over. Let the past be behind them and they should go on. "It's Michelle, you know, that's what it was." He winced now. "I'm a private person, you know. I really am. And if she hadn't been in the room that time, well, it would have been different. You were actually right good."

Still Tony said nothing. Nothing in the least that might stir him from the inevitable.

"I tried my best with you, you know." Maxxie was by his side now in his bed. God forbid he hated those sheets. They'd find a new place of their own. They'd move on. They wouldn't have to be here and let this drab life eat them up. They could make it. Just the two of them.

So what if he left Georgie at the bus station. This was so different with Tony. He felt the driving force here, nudging him along. Something had to be done before it was too late. Before their lives changed.

"I want you with me, Tony." Maxxie caressed him then as if were so. "I'm more than your best mate, and you sent Sid away."

He felt Tony's sigh give way. Maxxie smiled as his chin rested on Tony's shoulder. They were side by side. He hugged Tony from behind. Two peas in a pod. So raw. Ready for each other. Couldn't it be bliss?

"Just let me show you what you've been missing," He whispered in Tony's ear then.