Tony stayed in the shower til it was freak'n cold. He couldn't seem to wash all of Spence off of him even if it had been weeks. Months perhaps. He felt the guilt oozing through him. How could he deal with this? Now.
And it certainly didn't help any about Maxxie's situation. Was he serious? What the fuck had Sketch done to him? Honestly? Drugged him? Or was he just that hard up when Tony left like that?
So much was on his mind as he slowly got around to soaping up once more. Rinsing off. The shower beating into his chest like a cold hard rain.
What the hell was he to do? Maxxie. A Dad.
A shiver ran through him. What would he do now? He wanted to be the center of Maxxie's world. He didn't want to share it with anyone.
Damn, if he didn't have to contend with that hippie yippy bloke Jared. Seriously, how could Maxxie want to have a thing to do with that skinny bastard? It just didn't make sense. Who were these people?
He squinted hard as he dried off. Just how would he deal with it? He knew he had to be happy that he had a home to come back too. Honestly. But he so wanted it to be just he and Maxxie. Not all this. Tony fretted a bit then, leaving the loo all wet and possibly nasty. After all he'd been through and had escaped such a very dark world. Wasn't Maxxie happy he was all clean and sober?
Naturally, he'd neglected to tell Max about that tiny addiction of his. But he had it under control now. It was all under control. All of it. Nothing could hold him back now. Maxxie would see he was true to him. Right?
He had a towel wrapped around his waist. He went to the bedroom to dress. He guessed he should actually have clothes on. All he could find were Maxxie's jockeys and jeans. Of course, the jeans were a bit short on him. But Tony didn't seem to mind. They smelled of him. Sweet. Like a field of lavender. Baby soft too. He took a sniff of Maxxie's V-necked T. It felt good to be so close. Sort of like looking from the inside out.
A smile came to Tony.
"Aye, Max?" Tony yelled for him then. They should go out. Maybe the zoo. Maybe something ordinary and casual. The shops perhaps. Even the park. A picnic in the park. Yeah, something honestly genuinely sweet. Like lovers do on an ordinary day.
"Maxxie?" Tony called. But there was no answer. He went to see if he were in the kitchen. The front room. Anywhere. But Maxxie was no where to be found.